


Duplicitous

by FemaleSpock



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Backstory, Clones, Enemies to Lovers, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-11 05:53:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7031704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FemaleSpock/pseuds/FemaleSpock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>General Hux finds out an old family secret and starts to unravel. It’s bad enough that he never knew the truth, that he missed the signs, but that Ren is the one to tell him is just intolerable. The question is: how did Ren know?</p><p>Art by sadaf-wadj.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

General Hux hated Kylo Ren. This was not a new piece of information to either Hux or Ren but somehow the depth of loathing the man could inspire in him still managed to surprise Hux on a regular basis.

 

He wasn’t usually one for snap decisions. First impressions were often misleading. Take Mitaka, for example, at first glance he appeared to be nothing more than a bumbling idiot but with proper encouragement, he had proved himself not unwilling to be ruthless for the sake of the Order. But he’d hated Ren from almost the first instant they had met. He was already primed to the suspicious – he’d been raised to distrust those with powers beyond the ordinary – but he had been willing enough to accept Lord Ren as a powerful ally. His father had warned him that Ren was an idiot, an attack-dog with all the wits of a Nerf. He should have known his father would be right but, for all this, he had gone in with a relatively open mind. But the man had made it clear from the outset that he had no respect for him and no intention of working productively together, not even for the sake of the Order.

 

Ren hadn’t even been decent enough to address him by the title he had done so much to earn, just hissing the name ‘Hux’ through that ridiculous voice-plate of his (oh, Ren did use his title _now_ , but only after Hux had insisted, which he should never have had to do). Then he had tried to assert his power by laying his hands on Hux and trying to steer him about the ship like he was a small child.

 

And it wasn’t just that he was rude, he proved himself difficult to even have any semblance of a working relationship with. Talking to him was often like trying to have a conversation with someone over a comm-link line that was constantly lagging. The mask concealed a lot but he only ever seemed to look at people when he was trying to intimidate them. When being spoken to, his gaze seemed to wander aimlessly and fix on, well, nothing but thin air. He was so removed from being an actual person, this Sith lord, or whatever he was. He showed not a single piece of skin for fear of revealing even the slightest scrap of humanity. If he were like a robot that would be fine, preferable even, but the problem was that he was so very much inclined to childish fits of rage and illogical decisions driven by foolish faith in some ancient religion. No, there was nothing about Ren that wasn’t intolerable.

 

It had been particularly bad since the _unfortunate_ destruction of Starkiller base. (Unfortunate was the word that Hux had used in reports and in his speeches and in private conversations with officers. It was the word he was sticking to.) They had spent so many years clawing their way up, building up their forces, only to have everything that they had worked for destroyed because Ren couldn’t keep his family drama to himself.

 

Unfortunate was too polite a word for the fact that Hux had to suffer Ren’s company.

 

* * *

 

 

Hux woke up 0459. He waited until the minute until the alarm went off then pushed back the covers and got out of bed. He put on his uniform. He was on the bridge by 0515. He was 15 minutes early for his shift but there was nothing unusual about that now. In fact, it was such a matter of routine that his subordinates had come to expect it. Mitaka had taken to preparing a cup of caf in anticipation of his arrival.

 

There was a break in his shift at 1100 and with it usually came the inconvenient realisation that he needed to eat. That precipitated a quick visit to the cafeteria and taking his tray up to his room, to get some light work done whilst he ate. Today’s lunch offering was a couple of bagels spread with the tiniest amount of tuna mayonnaise. The food had never been good but the recent cutbacks had only made matters worse. He was glad of the work to distract him from the taste. As ever, he’d finished ready to go back to the bridge at 1130.

 

Unfortunately, he didn’t make it in time because he found himself confronted by the liability to the Order, and his livelihood, that was Kylo Ren.

 

“I would speak to you.” It was not a question.

 

Hux looked him in the eye as much as he could when dealing with a masked man. “I am due on the bridge.”

 

“Your shift doesn’t start for another half an hour.”

 

“Officially,” Hux conceded. He was too shocked that Ren actually understood the concept of time, much less that he knew his schedule, to argue. “But since your…since the unfortunate destruction of Starkiller base, it has been crucial that all personnel take on extra shifts to compensate for the loss of work. If you wish to speak to me, you can make an appointment. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

 

Ren, child that he was, shifted to the side to block his path. “This will only take one moment and I believe that you will find my counsel useful.”

 

Hux highly doubted that. “Proceed, if you must. I do not have all day.”

 

Ren stared into space for a moment but it was enough to confirm Hux’s suspicions: Ren had no other agenda than to taunt him in a pathetic response to his own feelings of failure.

 

“Why are you wasting my time?” An instant pang of regret lanced through Hux – though not for the sake of Ren’s pitiful feelings – over the snap in his voice. It was a miniscule loss in control but it represented a failure nonetheless. He stepped past Ren as quickly as he could.

 

“Wait!” called out Ren.

 

“Schedule a meeting,” said Hux, flatly.

 

He returned to the bridge and carried out the rest of his shift without incident. At 1300 he left the bridge for his meetings (and thankfully none were with Ren). The first was with the engineering team to discuss the progress on Starkiller’s redesign. They had started just a week after the original, _his Starkiller_. They reported back to him every day, even when little had been done. This was his project.

 

_‘We’ve already done this. Success never comes from repeating failures.’_ The thought played constantly in the back of his head but he never spoke it aloud.

 

Instead, he said: “is there a way to increase the defences around port 143?’ Or ‘the coolant system can not be moved to that sector at risk of partial destruction of the power-links in the event of a meltdown.’

 

It was hard to redesign something you had been so convinced was perfect.

 

But the engineers acquiesced to his demands or found new solutions and they were on schedule for construction to begin within two months. Starkiller II was going to be better. Starkiller II was going to be flawless.

 

Next, he moved on to meet with Captain Phasma to discuss the Stormtrooper Programme. The discussions there were never so smooth. Her ego was bruised after the defection of FN-2187, and her unfortunate trip to the garbage compactor, and her reaction seemed to be to double down on everything she had always argued for. It was incredibly tedious.

 

“If we were allowed to train the Stormtroopers in the field we would have been able to weed out the weak ones much earlier. It is one thing having them shoot at simulations. It is another thing to train them to kill, to really kill,” she persisted.

 

“We have been over this. It is financially unfeasible to train our troopers in the field at this present time. That is not the purpose of this meeting. If you look at the agenda, we are here to discuss the Stormtrooper deployments on Starkiller II.” He pointed to his datapad, to emphasise the point.

 

“Sir, with respect,” she said, in tones that veered very close to being quite the opposite of respectful. “There is no point discussing the deployment of troopers if they cannot be depended on. If they defect, they’d be in the perfect place to sabotage the entire operation.”

 

Hux pursed his lips. “On review, I believe that the fault belongs in your training, Captain. So believe me when I say, you are not in a position to use this unfortunate incident to push your own agenda.”

 

“My training?” her voice hitched up a little behind the helmet, before returning to its regular monotone. “What is it exactly that led you to this conclusion?”

 

“I checked FN-2187’s records again. You had put him down as an exemplary trooper but the fact is, he showed defects from the start. Something I presume you knew, given that further investigation has indicated that you spoke to the trooper alone on several occasions about his behaviour.”

 

Phasma was silent. Hux took that as his cue to continue. “He was overly concerned about another trooper, a weaker trooper, isn’t that correct? He showed hesitance in doing all that was necessary to advance our goals. He _cared_ about another trooper, like they were brothers.”

 

“Cohesion is necessary for the strength of a unit,” Phasma objected, weakly (though from anyone else it would have sounded like strength – Hux could only tell the difference because he had become so used to divining changes in mood from these mask-wearers that surrounded him).

 

“There’s a reason we don’t use clones.” Actually, there were several reasons but this was one of them. “They aren’t brothers. They are individual cogs in our machine. They do their job or they are removed. Cogs don’t care about other cogs. They do their job.” If it weren’t so inefficient he would almost have suggested they adopt his father’s old policy of having cadets kill off a weakling amongst their ranks to rise to the top. Unfortunately, the Stormtrooper programme was much larger than the select group at his father’s academy.

 

“Yes, sir,” Phasma agreed, somewhat reluctantly.

 

Now, I’ll give you until tomorrow’s meeting to look over your files to see if there are any other… _problematic_ troopers in the ranks,” he sneered. “You’re dismissed.”

 

“Yes, sir,” she repeated.

 

The meeting had lasted almost an hour less than he had anticipated. For a fraction of a second, he considered going back to his quarters and crashing into a nap, but he soon dismissed that illogical impulse. He never could nap. His body worked on a very strict sleep schedule. It would only be an exercise in frustration and wasted time. No, he would go back to the bridge. It would be useful to see how his subordinates functioned when they weren’t expecting him.

 

* * *

 

 

He was pleased to find that his staff members were working well when he was startled by the sudden notification of a message on his datapad. Hux looked down and there it was, in clear type. A ten-minute meeting with Kylo Ren, scheduled not for the official end of Hux’s working day, but right after the time Hux usually left the bridge (several hours after his shift had officially ended). Hux gaped at it. Ren really did know his schedule.

 

He regained composure quickly, aware that he was in public and begrudgingly clicked accept. Ren had followed official protocol. He had no real choice, though he suspected it was going to be another exercise in wasting his time.

 

The rest of shift passed without incident and Hux found himself half-way to his own quarters, thinking about the one glass of whiskey he would allow himself as he ate dinner and settled in to work another couple of hours, before he abruptly remembered that his had a meeting scheduled. He turned and walked back towards the conference room Ren had booked. He would be late. He hated that.

 

“You’re three minutes late,” said Ren, smug behind his mask.

 

Hux wanted desperately to punch him. “I’m here now. What do you actually want?” He sat down in a chair. Ren just hovered. The man had no manners, no sense of decorum.

 

“I’ve been giving much more thought to clones,” Ren dropped in conversationally, as though he had only just thought of it off the top of his head. “A clone army really would solve all our problems.”

 

It was far from the first time he had tried this tack but it never failed to rankle Hux. In fact, that was probably why he used it so frequently because no matter how many times Ren said it, Hux took the bait. His voice was calm, controlled because it nearly always was, but it was no use. He knew that Ren could sense his agitation. “There are several problems with cloning that I have already extensively outlined to you, but let’s run through them again: we do not have the budget to pay for the creation of clones, an army of identical men leads to our entire army have identical weaknesses, not to mention the fact that you don’t even have a suitable candidate in mind. Now if you would stop wasting my time, I have work to do to fix the mess we’re in because you couldn’t even defeat one untrained scavenger.”

 

“Well don’t worry; we won’t be using _your_ DNA. We’ve all already seen what a failure that was,” Ren snapped back.

 

Hux froze. It was just an insult, nothing new from Ren, but there was something about the _way_ he’d said it.

 

Ren became very still and very silent all of a sudden. Then he turned to leave.

 

“Stop!”

 

Ren stopped mid-step. His shoulders were ever so slightly slumped.

 

“What did you mean by that comment?”

 

Ren did not turn. “Merely that you are a pathetic excuse for a General and a disgrace to the Order. Now stop wasting my time!”

 

Hux stood up to try and catch him but it was too late. Ren left without another word, striding off faster even than usual.

 

Everything, from his initial words, to his demeanour and rush to cover lead Hux to one conclusion: Ren had said something he really shouldn’t have. Most likely something Snoke had told him to keep a secret. Something to do with him. Something to do with his DNA.


	2. Chapter 2

In a daze, he walked back to his own quarters and sat down at his desk. There was a metaphorical pile of work waiting for him (the Order was entirely paper-less of course). He ignored it. This was more important. He needed anything that would even the playing field between him and Ren.

 

He checked his birth-certificate, not on a whim exactly, but based purely on instinct (which was almost as bad). He wasn’t sure what he was looking for exactly but something was leading him here. He glanced over it and found it much the same as ever.

 

Name: Brendol Hux II

Sex: Male

Date of Birth: 02/02/0ABY

Planet of Birth: Arkanis

District: Rainsborough

 

He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting – for his planet of birth to have mysteriously changed to Kamino overnight? Still, his heart hammered as he closed the document. He had records of almost every moment of his life, organised neatly into categories, in case he should need any of it. He flicked to the next document. It was an initial report of his progress as an infant from the nursery. He had always been advanced of where he was supposed to be but certainly not enough to suspect _tampering._ It told him nothing he didn’t already know. There was a picture of his father clipped in there, with a brief note to link them together. He was in his forties already then. No mention of a mother. No surprise there. Hux had not a clue who she was.

 

He had asked of course. His father had never answered him but to tell him that it was an irrelevance and that the conversation was closed. Well, that was the first time he had asked. The second time had earned him a day locked in his room without food. There was no third time. The yearning ache of hunger had been efficient in teaching him not to waste his father’s time. There had been no third time – he’d learned his lessons well – if he wanted information, he had to earn it himself. Various hacked databases had turned up nothing. The hospital records lacked mention of parentage beyond confirming he was, in fact, Brendol Hux’s child. He had always wondered how much his father had bribed them to scrub the records. The simplest solution denied to him, he had to rely on less reliable methods. His father had various female acquaintances and Hux knew that he had slept with some of them, despite attempts to conceal this fact from him. So Hux had tried to eliminate candidates – pregnancy was difficult to hide, after all. It’d gotten him no-where and ultimately he’d decided it didn’t matter. He was going to make himself his own man.

 

The back of Hux’s neck pricked. It seemed to matter now. It seemed downright suspicious. He put away his own records.

 

The old men that made up the remnants of the Empire always told him one thing: how much he looked like his father at his age.

 

It was time to find out just how much.

 

He switched to the network and searched history archives for photographs of his father. Most were from his days at the Academy but that already too late. He had been past middle-age when he had had Hux. They’d used his official portrait as Head in most of the commemorations so Hux found himself scrolling through a sea of identical results before they started to diversify again. Some of the pictures were of himself. That often happened, given the near identical names. He was about to scroll past yet another picture of himself before his froze. There was something distinctly wrong about the photo.

 

It hit him. He was wearing an old imperial uniform. Or rather, Brendol Hux I was wearing the uniform.

 

Hux exhaled sharply, overcome with dizzying panic. Was this it? Was this what he had been missing? This couldn’t be true – and yet – he knew it must be. The signs had been there his whole life and yet he’d never seen it. But that wasn’t the worst thing. No, the worst thing was the _Ren_ knew.

 

Numbly, he walked over to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and saw his father's face staring back at him; disappointment reflected back at him, always there. He tilted his jaw to the side and ran his finger over the scruff that was growing there. If he just let it be, aged a few years, he'd really start to look identical to the father he had known.  No chance of that. He pulled his razor out of its designated holder. He shaved his face as always.

 

It didn’t make him feel better.

 

In light of his revelation, he felt he should be doing something but there was nothing to do. This father had died almost a year ago. There was no confrontation to be had. He walked back to his desk and sat back down on his chair, staring out into space for a good few minutes. Work, he had to do work. He opened up the schematics and the reports, trying to focus even as his vision seemed to be blurring all around him.

 

He typed out words, the formulaic language of the reports flowing automatically from his fingers.

 

_Clone._

The system beeped alerting him to a typing error. He double clicked and corrected the error, frustrated by the childish mistake.

 

_Imperfect copy._

He sent off the reports on time, early even. There was still a little time left. He could get started on something for tomorrow. He pictured his father, sat ram-rod straight at his desk, immobile but for the movement of his hands. Hux could visit the study hours apart and find the scene unchanged. DDM-38, the closest thing Hux had to an actual mother, had shown more signs of fatigue than he had.

 

His father worked so hard and Hux had wondered whether the work would ever end, whether he would finish it and be free to be a father. But there was always more. Work bred work it seemed.

 

Perhaps that was why he had been created.

 

He shut down the electronics and went for the bottle on the shelf. He poured out the precise measure he allowed himself and drank it down, quicker than he expected. The liquid was cool but it burned on the way down his throat. He put the lid back on the bottle and prepared for bed. A certain amount of rest was necessary for optimum performance.

 

Sleep did not come immediately when he closed his eyes. It never did. Numbers, dates, times – they ran through his mind most nights, searching for solutions to problems that had not yet been invented. But now all he could see were scenes from his childhood, playing in random order. The hazy memories of childhood looked a lot sharper under the filter of piercing hindsight. Hux clamped his hands down by his sides. He did not toss and turn – it was an ineffective way to get to sleep. Provided he remained still, his body would defeat his mind and send him into sleep.

 

He did not fall asleep with the allotted fifteen-minute window. His fingers kept twitching. His chest seemed to be rising and falling too much. His mind was whirring. He was awake.

 

Still, he refused to move.

 

Desperately, he tried to focus his thoughts – forget the past, it was irrelevant now. Imagining himself as conquering Emperor of the Galaxy had long been a favourite diversion when battling the frustration of sleeplessness. He would imagine the moment of victory, the bodies of his enemies coating the ground like carpet. He would picture himself ascending to the throne, the clothes he would wear, the crown. Snoke was long gone but Ren he would have to kneel before him. Imagining the Knight, mask stripped away from him, bowing his head and kissing Hux’s ring, had sent him into a peaceful sleep on numerous occasions.

 

It was all wrong now. Ren’s face was curved in a smirk, a smirk of victory. Frustration rattled through Hux’s veins. There was no point to this! This would never be his reality. It had always been a distant dream. The chances had always been slim but the possibility was always _there._ His father had warned him over and over about the dangers of satisfaction. It was never enough – if you achieved, you looked to the next challenge, looked for the next rung to climb (even if you had to forge that rung yourself).

 

 _Damn it!_ Ren had led him back there again. He’d won. Even in Hux’s head he’d won.

 

Hux bolted out of bed, adrenaline pulsing through him. This was a waste of time. On impulse, he rooted through his draws and found his training gear. It had become neglected over the past couple of weeks. He had allowed himself to slide. Well, if he wasn’t going to sleep, he was sure as hell going to do something productive.

 

He marched down to the officer’s training hall and found it blissfully empty, all the equipment right there for the taking. The running machine caught his eye and he settled on starting with that. Getting himself into the ideal position he fiddled with the settings, turning the slope up to maximum and the speed at moderate. The Finalizer was all perfectly flat surfaces as far as the eye could see; it would do him good to run uphill.

 

On the press of a button the machine began to move and so did he. His muscles strained from beneath him

 

There was the sudden swish of doors opening. Hux scrambled to turn the machine off. He saw something dark flit across his peripheral vision but by the time he’d turned his head it was gone. The doors shut again. Hux stared at the door, breath coming in pants, but nothing or no-one materialised. ‘ _Ren_ ,’ he thought, bile rising in his throat, though he had nothing to justify that assumption.

 

 A shiver ran through him. All sense of release that usually accompanied physical activity had dissipated before it had ever really begun. He didn’t feel powerful. No, standing there in the middle of the empty room, he felt oddly _exposed_. The sudden need to return to quarters and quickly rose up inside him. He took the towel from around his neck and wiped the sweat from his brow. He should go back and get a shower anyway. He couldn’t turn up for his shift stinking. 

 

The shower did not cure him of the feeling. It was there, lurking at the back of his mind all throughout the day. Officers were always looking to him, always looking _at_ him. It was nothing that had ever bothered him before - that he was the focus of attention only proved his power – but now he wondered what they saw. Did they see his father’s face? Maybe it wasn’t just Ren who knew. Maybe they all knew.

 

_‘You’re being paranoid,’ he thought. There was no way he could have advanced this far if they had known. No way they wouldn’t have used it against him._

 

Logic did nothing to stop the thoughts playing on a loop as he continued to work.

 

* * *

 

 

He drank his measure of whiskey that night and no more. He finished his work. He did not go to the gym but he put himself through a workout in his room. He showered. He shaved. He was rewarded by managing to scrape two hours of sleep.

 

He showed up to the bridge on time the next morning. He went to his meetings. He went back to the bridge. He came back to quarters. He drank his measure of whiskey that next night and no more. He finished his work. He did not go to the gym but he put himself through a workout in his room. He showered. He shaved. He could not sleep.

 

He showed up to the bridge on time the next morning. He went to his meetings. He went back to the bridge. He came back to quarters. He drank his measure of whiskey that next night and kept going. He filled up a second glass and drank that down, feeling the excitement of broken rules fizzle in his veins. There was no hesitation in pouring another. He stumbled to the desk and put on some music, the kind that his former roommate, who had been expelled from the Academy after a grand total of two and half months, used to listen to. Well, expelled was the official story. He’d never actually seen the boy again after he’d been removed for being a bad influence. He turned it up loud and let the jangle and crash of it surge through him. He didn’t bother with the glass when he came to take his next drink.

 

He was three-quarters of the way through the bottle when Ren came barging in. The music came stuttering to stop, the machine giving off bright white sparks. A laugh escaped Hux’s lips because wasn’t that just hysterical? Ren just hovered there, glowering through the mask - scary if it weren’t so incredibly socially awkward.

 

"I'd offer you a drink but I'm keeping it all to myself." Hux hugged the bottle of his chest, sloshing a little on his uniform. That would stink in the morning. He burst into hysterical laughter. "You'd have to take your helmet off anyway or is there room for a straw?"

 

"Pathetic," Ren pronounced, nowhere near as amused as he was. "All it took was one bit of truth and you're unravelling. I've known resistance garbage men with more resilience than you."

 

Hux barked a laugh. "Are you here to interrogate me?"

 

"I don't need to interrogate you. You're so drunk, you'd tell me anything - but it just so happens that I am more than well enough informed on you."

 

Hux wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. A vulgar gesture. Father always had him use a napkin. He'd received twenty strokes with a ruler the one time he'd disobeyed that rule. He hadn't repeated the mistake, even when alone. He'd always been grateful to his father for teaching him these lessons in manners; always thought it'd made him better than sloppy idiots like Ren. But his father wasn’t his father, just his genetic source, so who was to say now? "Well, great. What are you here for?"

 

"Your mind is yelling. I can sense you all the way across the ship. It's giving me a migraine. So I've come to tell you to clam up like you usually do or I'll force enough of that down your throat to knock you out. Either way, I want you to shut up."

 

Hux furrowed his brow, pulling a face. "How about now?"

 

"Still loud."

 

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, I have no idea how to control my thoughts."

 

"You're usually very quiet," Ren said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I usually don't get anything off you. I suppose it could be that this is your first time actually having thoughts."

 

"No but it's the first time you'll see me do something my father would never do, so take it all in."

 

Ren shook his head, almost in puzzlement. "Your father was a functioning alcoholic."

 

Hux blanched. He'd never seen his father touch so much as a drop; he'd always been very clear that drinking was for the lower-classes, the pathetic life-forms whose lives were so dismal they had to numb themselves with substances. Hux had been 23 before he'd had his first drink and it had been an accident. He'd been handed something that looked like a perfectly innocent glass of fruit juice at an official event and drank it without thinking about it. He hadn't realised that the hazy warmth coursing through his body was due to the alcohol until one of his former classmates at the academy nudged someone and said in stage whisper 'hey, I think the old stick in the mud is drunk.'

 

"You really didn't know about that either?" Ren sounded all too pleased with himself. "He kept very well hidden but I could sense it on him, like a constant whisper."

 

All of Hux's laughter drained abruptly. Waves of nausea rolled over him. How long had this been going on for? Was it a recent development, hidden from Hux because he only saw his father on formal occasions, or had this been happening his whole life? Was it going to re-contextualise every memory of his father that he ever had? Again.

 

He wondered if his father had been drunk the day of the accident, the day he had died.

 

"I suppose there is one difference," Kylo mused, a cruel twist in his voice like a knife. "He was functional at least.”

 

Hux leaned over and vomited on the floor. 

 

Then, warm arms clasping his shoulders, a hand wiping his mouth. “Hux, hey, Hux. It’s alright.”

 

“Get off me, Ren,” he muttered.

 

“You need to get to bed, you have a shift tomorrow.”

 

Hux’s muscles gave out under the logic of that. Ren’s goodwill was the only thing preventing him from crashing right down to the ground. He would have laughed if he didn’t feel so nauseous.

 

“Come on,” said Ren, his voice like the gentle brush of a knife against bare flesh. “You know I shouldn’t have-”

 

Hux couldn’t make out the rest. His vision swam and the ship seemed to have shifted from beneath him, the room a blur of grey. Then it stopped. He was on his bed, he realised, turned over on his side. There was a fleeting glimpse of a dark shadow standing above him. Hux shut his eyes for a moment. It was gone when he opened them at 0500, woken by the sound of a blaring alarm.

 


	3. Chapter 3

He felt a flash of light before his eyes as he stepped out of the bed, something like a gravity pulling him backwards, rendering him unstable on his feet. Whoa. What was wrong with him? His head ached and his stomach roiled and his neck was stiff. Every inch of him seemed to be screaming.

 

He moved his head slowly, paying the price in a chorus of aches and pains. Then he saw it. The mostly empty bottle of liquor. It all came back to him in a horrible rush, like being knocked off your feet in sparring practice. The alcohol. The vomiting. And Ren. Ren there to see all of it. Ren picking him up like a ragdoll and depositing him in bed. That was the worst part.

 

He glanced at his alarm clock. He had already wasted five minutes. He had to get to the bridge but not before he eliminated the signs. Right. Bathroom first. He splashed cold water on his face. It was blissfully sharp. He was at least half-awake now. He washed the rest of his body as quickly as he could with a damp towel. It wasn’t perfect but it was enough to remove the outright stench of body odour and alcohol. What else? Right, breath! That was a big one. He brushed his teeth thoroughly, trying not to gag as the taste of mint filled up his mouth.

 

He got to the bridge just on time and gulped down the coffee Mitaka offered and hoped desperately that his stomach would hold.

 

It did. Just about. He got through the day without so much as a hitch. He stood up straight even as the ship seemed to be rocking. He clenched his hands behind his back to stop them from shaking. He answered questions as though his mind wasn’t filled with fog. He and Phasma managed to come to an agreement.

 

By the time he got back to quarters, the thought of even looking at datapad was the furthest thing from his mind. He walked straight through the doors and crashed immediately onto the bed, burying his face in the pillow.  He had to bargain hard against his sheer exhaustion to convince himself to take the uniform off and fold it before returning to bed. But biology wouldn’t beat Hux again and somehow he just about managed before he fell back into bed and into an immediate sleep.

 

The next day was worse somehow. He woke up clean and refreshed and with a stomach heavy with self-loathing. He had walked through the day on autopilot, no time for thinking. He had been sleeping on his feet, he realised in retrospect, for much of yesterday. He could have been caught out at any minute. It had been pleasant. Survival had taken all his energy and left no room left for all his doubts and his questions and his fears. It had been almost as freeing as being drunk. He made the decision then and there that he was going to drink again tonight. Make a habit of it. There was no-one there to tell him no.

 

It had clearly worked well enough for Brendol Hux I.

 

* * *

 

 

Hux was good with numbers. He’d been considered a mathematical prodigy at the Academy. Somehow it took him less than two weeks to miscalculate. He woke at 0500, not with the familiar faded pain of a body that had just about processed the poison it had absorbed the night before. No, he woke up and felt distinctly giddy, the ship tilted almost at a jaunty angle. He cast his eyes over the empty bottle and laughed. It had been so easily once he had started to just keep drinking, to hope that the feeling might stretch on forever.

 

He still hadn’t seen Ren since that night. The hallways were not shadowed by his presence and he seemed to be done with Hux now. He’d probably seen enough to satisfy his ghoulish appetite for suffering. He’d revealed the cracks in Hux’s foundation and was confident that the house would come crashing down. It was a pity; he was missing a hilarious show.

 

He wandered to the bathroom and washed his mouth out. He didn’t need to put his uniform. He’d managed to sleep in it. He brushed a hand down it and spritzed some cologne to disguise the scent. There, that should do. Then to the bridge. He wondered if the alcohol in his bloodstream would make Thanisson’s shrill voice bearable for once.

 

The fun wore off fifteen minutes in. The alcohol didn’t. Every question was a struggle to keep his voice level, to keep from muddling and slurring his words. His face felt alternately too hot and too cold. He felt certain Mitaka could see him sweat, not that the other man would say anything. Hux rooted himself into one spot, allowing himself to lean ever so slightly against the console in front of him, so he wouldn’t sway on his feet.

 

Time passed slower and slower. The officers seemed to move around him like machines. He wondered if any of them had come to work drunk today. Unlikely. Not impossible. He had missed everything else. What if he had had brothers? Clones. Would they work under him in Officer’s positions? Or would they have surpassed him? Maybe they’d all be drunk and hiding. One big Hux family reunion. No, that was wrong. His father had a strict policy: weed out the weak. He would have pitted them against each other. There would only ever be one clone to carry on the name.

 

His datapad beeped its reminder. Ah yes, the monthly inspection of new recruits. He had forgotten that was today. Normally he had a speech prepared, some questions for the troopers. It had slipped his mind. It was pointless to panic but he could feel it rising in his throat regardless, just a habit from when he had thought this all mattered.

 

Phasma caught him in the corridor and they walked to their destination together. It was if she had known that he was tempted to duck into quarters and cite illness. He had never had a day off since he had worked there, not even when his father had died – it was almost funny how hard he had been pushing himself for so few returns.

 

They were there all too soon.

 

He stood in front of the troopers and saw nothing but identical-faced helmets stretching on and on and on. His vision blurred in and out. They looked like bleached skeletons before him.  So still, so stripped of humanity. There was a kick of nausea in his stomach. He put up a hand to his mouth. He could smell the decay on his own breath, despite the three separate times he had rinsed with mouthwash that morning.

 

Could they smell it on him?

 

His breath rattled up and down his body, pin-pricks of anxiety stabbing along is arms. His feet felt stuck. His body immobilised. He almost thought he might faint. He almost hoped he would.

 

“General, they await your orders,” prompted Phasma.

 

Hux opened his mouth and, unprepared, the barked order fell from his lips. “Take off your helmets!”

 

The troopers stood frozen to the spot.

 

“Sir, with all due respect, I’m sure you’re aware that we train them specifically to keep the full uniform on at all times possible.” Phasma’s voice sounded so inhuman through the filter of the voice-plate.

 

“Take them off! That is an order!” His voice sounded wild even to his own ears.

 

The troopers moved together, all at once, as though they really did share a hive mind. Their hands were around their necks and then they were lifting to reveal…Hundreds upon hundreds of individuals. Dark skin, light skin, black hair, blonde hair, even the odd redhead, freckles, large eyebrows, thin lips – different features in different arrangements on each of them. But all wore the same expression: eyes straight ahead, un-furrowed brow, lips held neutral and unsmiling.

 

He had been trained to wear that face too. The sudden urge to order one to bring him a mirror bubbled uselessly, corrosively, inside of him. He put up a hand to his lips. The troopers waited. He wondered if they truly saw anything through their hollow eyes.

 

“Put the helmets back on. Dismissed!” he barked and swept out, leaving Phasma to her army of weapons.

 

-

 

That night he saw Kylo Ren for the first time since he had vomited in front of him. Of course. Kylo Ren was attracted to his misfortune like a magnet to metal. 

 

“Phasma told me about your little meltdown. She seemed to think it was a ploy to undermine her training but that’s not it, is it? You’re well past the point of strategy. You’re spiralling, General.” Ren sounded almost angry but Hux had no time for that.

 

“Get out,” Hux muttered into the rim of the drink. He was just…done. Done with this. Done with Ren. Done with himself.

 

“Are you drunk?” He sounded positively scandalised.

 

“Not enough,” he murmured. “It’s over. You’ve won. Take a picture if you want something to look at whilst you wank but leave me in peace.”

 

It was hard to tell through the helmet but Hux could have sworn he heard Ren make a strangled choking sound. “You are drunk!” He sounded accusatory. He sounded like Hux’s father. Genetic original. Whatever he was. He grabbed Hux’s arm hard with a gloved hand. “Pull yourself together.”

 

“Get off me!” Hux snapped. He threw his drink to the ground. “Just get off me.”

 

“I’m taking you to the medbay,” said Ren.

 

“No! I don’t-”

 

 A datapad fell off the shelf and both men whipped their heads around to look at it. Another fell. Hux’s alarm clock went flying across the room and broke into pieces against the wall. Hux slipped Ren’s softening grip and put his hands up to his head. Stars, it was like sirens blaring in his mind. The bedframe was shaking but it didn’t move an inch. Not yet.

 

“Ren, stop!” he shouted. “Just stop! Kill me if you must, just end this please.”

 

Ren snapped his head around and pulled off the helmet, revealing wide dark eyes. “That’s not me.”

 

A shelf crashed down, spilling datapads over the floor with an unholy crack. “Don’t be stupid, Ren. Just stop it!”

 

Ren grabbed Hux’s face between his hands. His mouth curved up into a wild, half smile. “It’s you. Hux, it’s you.”

 

“It’s _General_ Hux to you,” he said. How many times did he have to tell Ren? If he were going to die, he was at least going to die a General. That was a name his father had never had. His wardrobe doors flew open and several dark items of clothing came flying out.

 

“Hux,” Ren repeated, a manic gleam in his eyes. “Hux. Hux. Hux.”

 

One bottle, then another came crashing down onto the ground. Glass splintered. Liquid sloshed onto the chrome floor.

 

No! Hux needed those. He rushed over, escaping Ren’s hold on him, his hands grasping at the remaining bottles to steady them from the onslaught. The onslaught never came. The room was calm, steady. Spilt liquid seeped through Hux’s socks.

 

He whirled around to face Ren.

 

“That was you,” Ren repeated. He sounded almost awe-struck. “You’re Force-sensitive, you must be.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hux snapped with little energy. The storm in the room had abated but he had had quite enough of these revelations from Ren. He just wanted to down half a bottle, then change his socks, then sleep in his mess of a room until morning. “How could it have escaped your notice for all these years? Aren’t you supposed to be a master of the Force?”

 

Ren was undeterred. “It could have been latent! Your father never showed any signs either but there was always something about him. Something about you. You’ve been blind to it for years but it must always have been there.”

 

Hux tried not to twitch at the mention of his father from Ren. “Even if it were _latent_ I doubt that would stop Snoke from seeing it if indeed it were there.”

 

“Maybe he wanted me to figure it out by myself,” said Kylo. “You’ll need to be trained of course.”

 

“No.”

 

“You’re off balance, General. You can’t continue like this forever. Let me show you a new way.” Ren had a hand outstretched and Hux wondered if he were really expected to take it.

 

He ignored the hand. “Because the Force has clearly helped you maintain an even temper.”

 

Ren suppressed a growl of frustration. “Stop being so stubborn. This is power. I’m offering you power, power your father never had. All you need to do is take it.”

 

“What would you get out of this?” If the offer was beginning to sound tempting, that only made it more suspect in Hux’s eyes.

 

A pause. Ren bit his lip.

 

Ren’s silence was a vindication. “Go on. Explain to me why you would offer your rival such power.”

 

“You aren’t much competition as it stands. You’re half the man you used to be. It’ll be better for the Order if I help you and it’ll be more fun for me if you’re strong again. It’s no fun kicking you whilst you’re down.”

 

“You have an incredibly twisted sense of fun, Lord Ren.”

 

“I don’t hear a ‘no’ there,” Ren pushed.

 

“Fine. You can try to teach me, for all the good it’ll do you.”

 

“Excellent. The first lesson starts now.”

 

That his answer had made Ren so happy was enough for Hux to regret it already. “Not now. I’m going to bed. I’m drunk remember?”

 

Ren’s face was pinched in visible distaste. His face was always so expressive. The troopers wore masks because they had had all the individually carefully extracted from each of them. Ren seemed to wear his to disguise every trace of his. “We can start tomorrow then but I’m going to take your liquor with me.”

 

The boldness of the statement, the lack of room for Hux to argue, was truly offensive. If Ren thought he would bow to him as Ren bowed to Snoke, he had another thing coming. “No. I’ve agreed to your training. I haven’t agreed to that.”

 

“Alcohol doesn’t mix well with the Force. And you’re starting to become dependent – it’s better to just stop now. Before you become like…” Ren abruptly stopped.

 

Hux allowed himself to ignore Ren’s truncated remark. That subject seemed exhausted now. “You really think I can’t find more?”

 

“Trust me; you won’t need it once you discover the power of the Force.” He sounded like one of those street preachers Hux used to sneer at – in a sense that’s what he was, he supposed – Ren just happened to live on a starship and believe in dark powers rather than the healing power of love or whatever it was they always seemed to be going on about.

 

Hux had never trusted Ren before and he wasn’t going to trust him now. “You sound ridiculous.”

 

“I’m taking them,” persisted Kylo.

 

“No, you aren’t.”

 

“Fine! I’ll make a deal: I’ll leave one for the week. Next week I’ll give you another.”

 

It didn’t sound like much of a deal. Just another order.

 

Ren wasn’t his _father_. He didn’t have one of those and apparently never had.

 

“I’m not a child, Ren. I don’t need you standing over my shoulder.”

 

Ren’s eyes were cold. “I won’t be. Like you said, you can always get more. It’s a challenge, not an order. It’s fine if you think you can’t handle it but you can’t use the Force if you’re intoxicated all the time. That’s just a fact. I can’t train a student who isn’t _serious_.”

 

It dimly occurred to Hux that this was a blatant manipulation from Ren but that thought was drowned out by the part of him that wanted to smash every single last bottle to the ground just to prove that he didn’t need any of it. But he didn’t go that far. “Fine, take them. Drink them yourself if you want.”

 

“I’ve just told you about the Force and alcohol,” Ren said, as he levitated the bottles, leaving just one behind. “You’re going to need to learn to listen more carefully when I train you. I’ll come by your quarters after your shift and we can begin.”

 

With that, Ren swept out of his quarters, bottles rattling along in the air alongside him. Hux would almost have laughed at the sight if he weren’t so utterly drained. He gave his one remaining bottle a good long stare before heading to bed. He had better save it. He would probably need it after he suffered whatever Ren’s idea of training was.


	4. Chapter 4

“This room is still a mess. I’m surprised it’s not driving you crazy,” said Ren, casually, as he strode through the doors after Hux’s shift, as promised.

 

It was. Hux had experienced a night of incredibly disturbed sleep and he blamed it entirely on the state of his room. Well, actually no. He blamed about half of it on the state of his room and about half of it on the tremors in his limbs. Was this the Force or withdrawal from alcohol? He couldn’t say but it was unpleasant either way.

 

“I would be cleaning it now but someone insisted on coming over to try to ‘teach me the ways of the Force.’ I’d like to see what your room looked like. Given your propensity for temper tantrums, I imagine that it’s far worse than this,” said Hux.

 

It was hard to tell through the mask but Ren seemed to be looking away.

 

“Take that off, if you’re going to teach me,” Hux ordered, irritation bubbling under the skin.

 

“Why?” Ren said, after a long moment of hesitation. He sounded deeply suspicious, like Hux were offering him poisoned wine (not that Ren would drink it anyway) rather than a practical suggestion.

 

“Because facial expressions are a key facet of human communication. It’ll be easier for me to ‘learn’ if we don’t have an artificial barrier between us.” Hux was proud of the explanation. It sounded entirely reasonable. In truth, he just hated the thing. If he were going to submit to the indignity of being trained by Ren, then he might as well try to put them on the more even footing.

 

Ren still was not looking at him. Then he moved, pulling the helmet off over his head and turned to face Hux. His face was a little pink and Hux wondered if it were hot in the helmet. How did Ren stand to wear it all the time? “See, compromise. Now, that’s enough time wasted. Let’s get to work. Your telekinesis manifested first so we may as well begin with that – see if we can’t clean this mess up a little bit.”

 

Hux despised the teasing note in Ren’s voice but he had to admit, the idea of an easy way to clean up the utter trash compactor that his room had become was appealing. “Fine.”

 

Ren stared at him.

 

Hux stared back. Finally, he broke the silence. “Well, aren’t you going to teach me?”

 

“Right. Stretch out your hand, whichever hand feels most comfortable – it’s usually the one you write with and-”

 

“I think this might be better if you just show me,” Hux interrupted.

 

“You’ve seen me use the Force before. You were watching me pretty closely, if I recall.” His eyes glazed over a bit, as if he really were remembering something.

 

Hux had watched where he could. If he were to be stranded on a ship with a strange man with strange powers, he was going to do all that he could to ensure that he wasn’t taken off guard. Not that it had helped him in the end. “I wasn’t watching with a view to actually using those powers.”

 

Ren sighed and stretched out his right hand. He flicked his wrist up and floated a single datapad up until it was level with an unbroken shelf. He gestured to put the datapad onto the shelf when Hux made another objection.

 

“No, Ren, that doesn’t go there!”

 

Ren persisted and gently put the datapad down on the shelf. Concentration no longer needed, he scanned the room with a look of pure disdain. “I don’t think you’re in a position to worry about a single miss-shelved datapad.”

 

Hux crossed his arms in front of his chest. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it properly.”

 

“We’re not going to do anything. It’s your turn. If you want the datapad off the shelf so badly, you’re just going to have to do it yourself.” There was a hint of a song in Ren’s tones.

 

Hux gritted his teeth. “Fine.” Feeling entirely ridiculous, he stretched out his left hand, making a beckoning gesture.

 

Nothing happened.

 

He put his hand down, feeling his cheeks burn. “You see! Nothing happened! This has been a tremendous joke, Ren. I hope you’re very pleased with yourself.”

 

Ren huffed out a breath. “You give it one try and then you give up? I credited you with more persistence than that, General, but perhaps I was wrong.”

 

“Well, you know what I’ve always said about clones: unreliable, full of weaknesses,” Hux snapped back.

 

“Try again. You were just moving your hands – you weren’t reaching with the Force.”

 

Hux stretched out a hand and screwed up his face, trying to grasp as if with muscles. Nothing.

 

He turned and shot Ren a look. It was a look that said ‘I told you so’ though it was far less triumphant than his usual iteration of this particular expression.

 

“This isn’t working.” There was frustration evident in Ren’s voice.

 

“For once we agree on something,” muttered Hux.

 

“It’s hard to explain – I’ve had the Force for so long that it’s hard for me to remember how I learned how to use it. But there has to be a way.” And now Ren appeared to be talking to himself, his eyes cast aside, wide mouth held taut in contemplation. Fantastic. Then a smile spread across Ren’s features, unnerving in its enthusiasm. “I’ve got it!”

 

“What is this new revelation?” The light glinted off his one remaining bottle of whiskey and the sudden urge to down it jumped inside him. He would probably need it to deal with whatever had Ren so happy.

 

“It’s an old exercise, from when I was first learning the ways of the Force. I haven’t thought of it for years.” He shuffled closer to Hux and, without warning or explanation, rested the crook of his wrist on Hux’s shoulder. The distance between them was not breached, Ren’s arm creating a straight bridge between the two.

 

“What?” The word came out flat and lifeless. He supposed after the twin-revelations of his genetic-heritage and apparent Force-sensitivity, he had little room to be surprised by Ren anymore.

 

“Okay, this is good,” said Ren, more to himself than Hux. “What I need you to do now is to place your hands just above my elbow joint.” He noticed Hux’s look and added: “I’ll explain in a minute, just do it.”

 

Hux heaved a sigh but nonetheless complied with Ren’s strange request.

 

“Now clasp your fingers together.”

 

Hux did so.

 

“Good. I want you to rest them on top of my elbow joint now.”

 

Hux did. “Now what?”

 

“In a minute, you’re going to push down as hard as you can and try to get me to bend my arm. I am going to resist you with all my physical strength,” said Ren. “Can you do that?”

 

Hux eyed Ren’s arms, bulging muscles apparent even through the concealment of the robes. “What’s this trying to prove? That you’re stronger than me because I think we all know that already.”

 

“I’m going to show you the difference between physical strength and the Force. It’ll be easier for you to explain if you just feel it. Now come on.”

 

Hux pulled down hard, Ren’s body barely straining beneath the effort.

 

“More.”

 

Hux grit his teeth and pulled hard, so hard he could almost feel a vein pop. Blood rushed to his face. His fingers seemed more liable to break than Ren’s arm to move underneath his touch. He let out an involuntary grunt and gave one last push, picturing Ren’s face rather than his arm. There was a slight tremor from Ren, the tiniest give, but ultimately the arm remained in place.

 

“That’s enough,” said Ren, all smooth neutrality.

 

Hux would have preferred him gloating. This was just Ren thinking himself above it all. Hux let go. “Surprise, surprise. I couldn’t bend it.”

 

Ren had the nerve to smile at him. “You came close. And you could feel it, couldn’t you? The strain to keep the arm straight.”

 

Ren’s face did look gratifyingly red, though Hux suspected that it wasn’t anywhere close his own hue. “I felt it. So what?”

 

“We’re going to do it again but this time, I’m not going to resist with strength. I’m going to let the Force flow through me.”

 

Hux already felt too tired for this but he put his hands back in position. He’d see just how delusional Ren was now.

 

Ren closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in and out slowly. “I’m ready now.”

 

Hux pushed down. The joint did not yield. He hadn’t expected it to. Ren’s arm was as straight as ever.

 

“Can you feel it?” asked Ren.

 

Hux didn’t feel anything. The arm did not quiver beneath him, it simply ran straight across, like a stream of water. Impossible to bend.

 

Oh.

 

“Yes, I think I can feel it.” His voice sounded distant to his own ears.

 

“Then we can stop.”

 

Hux removed his hands.

 

“There. That’s the difference. Now let’s have you try it.”

 

Hux didn’t protest but he didn’t move either. There was nothing about having sheer weight of Ren bearing down on his own, under-used, and frankly, stick-like arm that appealed to him in the slightest.

 

“What are you waiting for?” Ren asked.

 

Hux put his arm up on Ren’s shoulder. It felt weird to be touching him of his own volition. Ren put the cage of his fingers around Hux’s joint and just rested there.

 

“Use strength first. Tense up.”

 

Hux already felt tense under the grasp of Ren’s abnormally large hands but he clenched, praying he’d be able to hold out for long enough that it wouldn’t be totally embarrassing. He nodded. Ren started his assault on his joint, heavy as Hux had expected. He closed his eyes, trying to keep his arm unbent, the area already giving out an ache. He clenched his fist and managed to hold on for another few seconds before his arm collapsed inwards like a folding chair.

 

“So we’ve established that you’re stronger than me again. Big surprise,” muttered Hux.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” said Ren. He sounded oddly sincere though Hux guessed that it was a side effect of his devotion to his cult, rather than out of any wish to console Hux. “Now we’ll try again with the Force.”

 

Hux suspected this wouldn’t be any less humiliating. Tired, he put up the arm on Ren’s shoulder and Ren placed his hands back in position. He could feel the heat of them even through the material of his uniform. Out of nowhere, he wondered what someone would think if they walked into his quarters and found the two of them like that. There was something about the idea of it that made him uncomfortable.

 

He brushed the thought off and prepared himself for round two.

 

“Stop,” Ren commanded. “I can already feel you tensing your muscles. You’re going to use the Force now.”

 

“How do you expect me to do that?” asked Hux. It was all very well and good Ren saying ‘use the Force’ but he hadn’t actually explained how to do that.

 

Ren rolled his eyes back slightly, thinking. “Try to think of it like water – an ongoing stream like from a hose. Not hard but incredibly powerful. Think of it flowing through your arm.”

 

Hux’s eyes flew to Ren’s face. He’d thought of water himself when he’d pressed down on Ren’s arm that second time – was that a coincidence? Hux shook his head a little. He was being ridiculous. Of course, it was a coincidence. He might be coming around to the idea of the Force but he didn’t have to believe in mystic intuition.

 

He let his arm flop, allowing the muscles to sag. He tried to picture what Ren had told him. The water, the energy moving through him. He wasn’t sure he had it.

 

“I’m going to press down now.” It was halfway between a question and a statement.

 

He managed a curt nod, trying to concentrate on the feeling in his arm. Ren pressed down again, pushing him with unrestrained brute strength. It still hurt. Hux wasn’t sure what he had expected. He looked at the spot across the room, trying to imagine the water running through to the other side, keeping a straight line across the room. He was overly aware of the sound of his breathing. This was a strain too, in a different way. Mental, rather than physical.

 

He didn’t want to admit it but it was almost easier.

 

The water became a beam, a bright red beam, in his imagination. Memories replayed. Starkiller shooting its laser across into space. The glow. The moment of impact.

 

Then, the release of pressure.

 

Hux blinked and he remembered where he was. He hadn’t really forgotten, he’d just gotten a bit caught up. His head spun a little. Ren, who hadn’t let go, merely stopped pressing, ran his hands down Hux’s arm and gently steadied him.

 

“There, you had it,” said Ren, grinning widely as though it was his own triumph (and maybe it was).

 

Hux nodded. Part of him wanted to lie, to tell Ren that he was wrong but he was tired, tired of fighting who he was. He had always preferred to fight with others.

 

“Now try with the datapad,” said Ren.

 

Hux waited for Ren to move. Ren didn’t seem to realise, he seemed to be waiting for Hux.

 

“Ren, you’re…you’re holding my hand.” The words felt ludicrous in his mouth but that was the fact of the situation.

 

Ren looked down with alarm, his features jolting a little in surprise when he saw that he was, in fact, clasping Hux’s hand in his own. He dropped the hand as though it were a dead fish. His mouth was clamped very tightly shut.

 

“Right,” said Hux, abruptly turning away to face the incorrectly-shelved datapad. He stretched his hand out. He tried to concentrate, to feel the energy like he had before. The datapad jittered on the shelf but didn’t otherwise move.

 

“Keep going.” Ren sounded a little breathless.

 

Hux frowned, trying to recreate the feeling. Somehow it had been so much easier when he had Ren’s hands to push up against. He tried to see it like a conveyor belt, the water carrying the datapad along through the air. It started to move.

 

It swept off the shelf and hit Hux square in the chest. He managed to catch it though that wasn’t much consolation. 

 

Ren gave a bark of a laugh then suppressed it. Hux glared. It was odd to see the man giggling like a school boy, it would have almost have been funny in of itself, were it not Hux he was laughing at.

 

Ren gave a sigh of a smile. “You’re thinking very loudly. Don’t be offended. It’s better than what happened when I first tried it.”

 

Hux didn’t ask what had happened though curiosity nagged at him. He wouldn’t let Ren patronise him by sharing some mildly embarrassing tale from Ren was likely no older than six years old. Ren didn’t press it. His smile had faded anyway and he appeared deep in thought.

 

It was the opportune time to try again, whilst Ren wasn’t watching, so Hux laid the datapad flat on one hand and started to float it up with the other, making his movements small and precise.

 

Snapping out of his reminiscence, Ren said: “Good. Try to think of the Force as being like an extension of your arm.”

 

Hux tried his best to block out the nasal sound of Ren’s voice. The datapad wobbled along in the air, the path wonky. It dropped an inch and Hux’s breath snagged as it stopped and stabilised. He gave one last push and the datapad slotted perfectly into its place on the shelf.

 

Ren exhaled. “I told you that you could do it!”

 

Somehow the ‘I told you so’ didn’t sound so bad to Hux’s ears. He suppressed a grin. “Naturally.” Looking around the rest of the room was enough to wipe even the faintest hint of a smile off his face. Just moving that one datapad had taken so much concentration, so much effort. He was never going to get the place clean. “I don’t see how we’re going to clean this place up in time, though.”

 

“Have patience,” said Ren, a man who, as long as Hux had known him, had never shown even the slightest hint of having any. “You have the skill. You just need to build on it. I’ll come back tomorrow and the day after that until it’s done. Then we can move onto other areas.”

 

With that, Ren swept off. How typical of him to neglect any formal farewell.  Hux surveyed his wreck of a room and sighed, his eyes caught by the glint of his singular bottle of scotch. He didn’t have to drink all of it. No, he didn’t have to drink any of it. But it occurred to Hux that he was going to be seeing a lot more of Ren even than usual and he found himself unscrewing the top and pouring himself a measure.

 

He drank it straight down, shuddering at the familiar slide of the burning liquid down his throat. He found his hand reaching to pour out more but he stopped himself dead. He was going to have to Ren tomorrow and the day after. He had to ration.

 

His addiction to competition had started long before he had started to drink. It burned within him. It was so familiar; he couldn’t believe he had ever forgotten it. But his father had died. It had been harder to compete with a mere legacy.

 

He screwed the cap back on the bottle and walked over to his desk, allowing himself to drown in work. Logical work, filled with numbers and procedures. It was almost comforting.


	5. Chapter 5

Ren was as good as his word. He turned up at Hux’s quarters every day, regular as the  Finalizer’s shift changes. Odd how he could never manage to apply these apparently impeccable time-keeping skills to say, Officer Meetings, but Hux supposed Ren would always choose the option that tortured him the most.

 

He supposed he was making progress, though. The room was all but clear. There had been some mishaps of course – objects coming crashing up or down or into someone. Hux had been almost perversely proud of hitting Ren right in the nose with a model of an old Imperial Landing Craft. It had been an accident but Ren had retaliated right away, throwing a datapad at Hux’s mouth. But it hadn’t hit. Hux had put up a hand and pushed back against Ren. The datapad hung in the air as they played tug of war before Ren evidently got bored and let go. The datapad dropped to the floor. There was a chip in the screen when Hux picked it up.

 

“Serves you right,” said Ren.

 

Stars, he was such a child. Hux floated the datapad up and pressed a few buttons. It still worked thankfully. 

 

“I’ll add this to your tab,” drawled Hux.

 

“I don’t think you’re in any position to lecture me about First Order property now.” Ren looked around the mostly neat room. “Now are you going to finish the job or not?”

 

Ten minutes later and the room was finally returned to its former state. Hux looked at his work and allowed himself to breathe a pleasantly exhausted sigh. The room was so pristine it looked like new. Control again, finally.

 

“Looks like we’re done then,” said Hux, turning to look at Ren. 

 

“For today but I’m not letting you off that easy. There is still the matter of Force-reflexes, meditation, the eventual possibility of being trained in Lightsaber combat,” Ren listed. “Following the way of the Force is a lifelong path.”

 

Hux had a horrific realisation that perhaps Ren intended to walk that path with him all the way. Even more horrific was that it somehow didn’t sound as bad as it would have a couple of weeks ago.

* * *

 

 

“I’m going to teach you meditation next. It should help you to centre your thoughts, to get more in tune with the Force,” said Ren, as he walked through the door. He took his helmet off without being asked, as he always did now.

 

“Meditation?” repeated Hux. “Can’t you teach me something useful? Something I could actually use in combat.” He was perfectly proficient in combat but it wouldn’t hurt to have some enhancement from the Force. He had top marks in both marksmanship and hand-to-hand combat but what didn’t he have top marks in? Well, there had been that one mark in communications. Strange, it had always been one of his stronger suits. There were several commendations to his name that proved that he was an effective speaker. But one disastrous group project with a couple of cadets who would later flunk out of the Academy later and he was left with a mediocre grade for that quarter. He wondered if he looked at his father’s old reports he would find an identical deficiency and wasn’t sure if the prospect pleased him or not. He had tried to explain the situation at the time, of course, but his father was having none of it. ‘Weak,’ that was the word his father had spat and it had pierced straight through him, reverberating around his head for the entirety of the next term.  He told Hux that if his colleagues were not up to scratch he had to either find a way to make them work or he should get rid of them.

 

Hux had grown up on stories of his father’s legendary hand-picked group of cadets. He had always imagined himself as one of them, the leader even, but he had never been invited. ‘To avoid the spectre of nepotism,’ his father had said but he knew it was because he was thought too weak to kill in cold-blood. Looking back, another explanation presented itself: he was simply redundant. Why have Brendol Hux II, nothing but a faded copy, when you could have the original?

 

“Your thoughts are wandering, General,” prompted Ren. “And no, I don’t need to be in your head to know that.”

 

“Why don’t you teach me to read minds instead?” Hux had little hope that Ren would acquiesce to the request but something like excitement jumped up inside him at the thought.

 

Ren smiled. “It’s a difficult skill. You can’t read minds if your thoughts are all over the place. Hence meditation. It’s the starting point for most of the more advanced skills. You made a basic start of it when you were learning to move objects but you’re going to need to hone your mind.”

 

“No-one’s ever accused _me_ of having an undisciplined mind before.” Even if he did buy that meditation was the most useful skill to start developing, he couldn’t accept that Ren of all people was the right person to teach him. Hux wondered if Ren was even aware of how often Hux caught him daydreaming or just staring off into space. He didn’t buy that Ren was meditating on his feet either.

 

“You give off the appearance of being well-ordered,” Ren admitted. “But your thoughts can be surprisingly chaotic.”

 

Hux felt jabbed. “Is this part of the meditation practice? You insulting me? Because I have to say, it’s not making me feel particularly like sitting down and staring off into space.”

 

“It’s not an insult,” hissed Ren. “Look, can we just try it? We don’t have to go through this stupid routine every time I want to teach you something!” He swept a hand across and an empty glass went flying off the table and crashing to the ground before Hux could so much as lift a hand.

 

Ren looked at the broken glass, or rather in the direction of the broken glass, for a good long moment before turning back to Hux.

 

“My mind is prone to chaos. I’m sure you know that,” he muttered. “This will help the both of us. You have discipline, I can’t argue with that, and I have the knowledge of the Force. We could be stronger together.”

 

It’s such a relief to realise what Ren was getting out of this arrangement. It had still been something of a nagging question and his answer seemed genuine enough, though Hux had no mind-reading powers to confirm that. Besides, he had just put this room right. The last thing he needed was another of Ren’s rages to put them right back where they started. “Okay, let’s ‘meditate’ then.”

 

“Sitting is a good place to start,” said Kylo. “There are other forms, moving, standing, but sitting is the easiest.” He gestured to the floor.

 

Hux felt his lip curl. “I’m not sitting on the floor.”

 

“Your room is impeccably clean, General, we’re both aware of that.”

 

Hux couldn’t very well argue with that. He sat cross-legged on the floor, glad that the uniform trousers he wore were sufficiently loose that there was no chance of straining the fabric. Ren sat opposite him and they looked at each other for one long, uncomfortable moment.

 

“What am I supposed to be doing?” Hux prompted. “Just sitting here?”

 

“Close your eyes,” said Ren. “You’ll learn to do this with them open in time but for now, just close them. It’ll help you block out any distractions.”

 

“If you even think about playing a practical joke on me whilst me eyes are closed…”

 

Ren didn’t allow him to finish the threat, which was fine since he didn’t really have anything to finish it with anyway. “I am not really one for jokes. Close your eyes.”

 

Hux closed his eyes.

 

“Good,” Ren murmured. “Now breathe along with me…”

 

* * *

 

 

Twenty minutes later and he was beginning to distinctly regret allowing Ren to convince him. Hux hated all this breathing mumbo-jumbo. Some stuck-up cadet from the Academy had tried to get them all doing ‘breathing exercises’ for ‘anxiety’ once and all it had ended up doing was making him feel lightheaded and irritated. Not the least because he had a lot of actual work he could be getting on with. This present situation reminded him a lot of that.

 

“You’re not listening to what I am actually saying. You’re breathing the way you think you should.”

 

“Thank you for that stunning insight.” Hux jumped as he felt a sudden pair of hands about his torso. His eyes flew open. “What are you doing?”

 

“I’m feeling your chest,” said Ren, sounding not at all embarrassed to have been caught doing…whatever it was he was doing.

 

Hux’s every nerve felt on edge. “Obviously. Why are you feeling my chest?”

 

“To help you with your breathing.” Ren made it sound like the most natural thing in the world. “You’re too tense. Breath from here.” He rested a hand on Hux’s lower abdomen.

 

Hux rolled his eyes but tried it nonetheless, feeling his stomach expand out against Ren’s firm hand.

 

“There!” said Ren. “Right there, now hold it…and breathe out – slowly now.”

 

Hux did as he was told, just hoping he could get this over with. His skin was almost humming under Ren’s touch in a way that was disconcerting but not painful.

 

“Again,” murmured Ren.

 

Hux continued, feeling a small well of calm spread out through his body, washing over the anxiety, neutralising it. He could feel Ren’s chest rising and falling in sync with his. The room filled with nothing but the quiet sounds of breath. And there was something else too, something nudging at the corners of his mind…

 

Then Ren let go and Hux felt oddly…bereft. 

 

“There, you see, it worked.”  Hux could hear the smug grin on his face even without turning to see it.

 

“Why do you want me calm? I thought the dark-side was all about rage?” Hux asked, by way of avoiding having to admit that Ren was right.

 

Kylo clambered up and moved to sit opposite him again. He considered his answer. “It’s about harnessing the power of your anger – like cold fire – you can’t let it consume you. It has to pass through your body. You have to focus.”

 

“You’re just stringing random words together!” Hux protested. “Explain in plain Standard.”

 

“I am explaining,” hissed Kylo, calm already dissipated. “You’ve closed your mind. Again. The Force does not work like one of your machines. You have to feel, not think.”

 

“I’ve done my research. The Force is in midichlorians. It’s science, not religion. Maybe you would be further along in your own training if you actually applied a bit of reason, instead of going off of vague scripture. I mean, ‘cold fire’ that’s just nonsense disguised as wisdom,” Hux scoffed.

 

“I can’t think of better words to describe you. You pretend to have passion when you’re out in front of the troopers but really you’re just as cold as your father was. You’re not even his clone. You’re more like a droid, mass produced, made in a factory,” Ren sneered, temper flaring. “Even when you fell apart, you fell apart in your own time, in your own quarters. You still showed up for work every day and disguised the smell of booze on your breath. You like pretending to give up but you’re stuck with your programming! I suppose when the time comes you’ll make your own little clone, Brendol Hux III, and he’ll be just as much a failure as you. Let’s face it, you’ve never had an original thought in your life, never done anything other than what Brendol Hux told you-”

 

Hux lunged forward. Ren flinched instinctively like he was going to hit him. Hux grabbed the front of Ren’s robes and pulled his mouth down onto his own. Their lips clashed against each other, Ren’s tongue flicking into his mouth and brushing up against his. Hux pushed back with his own, feeling the slight scrape of Ren’s teeth. He dropped his grasp on Ren’s robes and got himself a fistful of his hair instead. He pulled slightly and felt, rather than heard, Ren’s gasp of pleasure or pain.

 

After what seemed like an eternity, he pushed Ren away. “Let me guess, you’re going to tell me that my father always had repressed homosexual tendencies,” he said, a little breathlessly. His lips were tingling.

 

Ren tilted his head to the side, pretending to consider. “No actually, but I might take a bit more convincing to buy that _you_ do.” He leaned in eagerly, catching Hux’s mouth with his own.

 

* * *

 

 

It was impossible for Hux to sleep with Ren in his bed. For one thing, the heat that radiated from the other man’s muscular form was quite unbearable. For another, he seemed quite unable to remain still for more than five minutes, even in sleep. Perhaps he should have told him to go but frankly that just seemed like bad manners. He might not have slept anyway. There were too many thoughts spinning around in his head. He hadn’t seen this coming. It must have been Ren’s influence because he’d acted on pure instinct.

 

But now they were here, it didn’t feel like a surprise. It felt almost inevitable, like everything that had happened between them had been building to this.

 

The path those thoughts led him down was less than comfortable.

 

* * *

 

 

“What is that?” moaned Ren.

 

“That’s my alarm,” Hux said, smugly. For the moment, his lack of sleep gave him a clear tactical advantage: he was already wide away and pumped full of adrenaline. Ren was groggy, unused to the early morning rising.

 

“Turn it the fuck off,” Kylo muttered, rolling over as if to go back to sleep.

 

Hux pulled off the covers. “Oh no, you don’t. I need to get to my shift in fifteen minutes. I can get ready in five. That gives us a good ten minutes to debrief about this whole…situation.”

 

“What the fuck?” Kylo sounded more awake now. “Did you seriously just say that? Who need a debriefing after sex?”

 

“Would you rather I have said ‘we need to talk’ in melodramatic tones?” Hux shot back. “Wait, considering your penchant for over-the-top…well everything…I suppose you probably would.”

 

Ren heaved a sigh that only proved Hux’s point about his amateur dramatics. “I don’t see that we need to talk at all but here’s my report on ‘the situation’ as you put it: we slept together. It was good. We could do this on a regular basis if you like. There. Happy?”

 

“Ecstatic.” The word rolled automatically off his tongue, all acid insincerity.

 

Ren just looked at him with oddly vulnerable eyes.

 

Hux gave a sigh of his own. “Fine, look. I…agree with your assessment. We could certainly create a recurring…” He searched for suitable word for about half a minute before giving up and settling on an unsuitable one “…meeting.”

 

Ren rolled his eyes but there was a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Right, well I’ll just make an official request through the First Order intranet then.”

 

“Hilarious,” said Hux, drily. “But we’re not done here.”

 

“What now? We have ten minutes before your shift and I could think of something a lot more interesting to do…”

 

He reached out a hand, which Hux promptly slapped away. “I have questions. You told me that the Force could gift you with visions of the future. You implied that you had experienced such visions.”

 

“Yes,” he said, knocked off guard by the non-sequitur. “But what does that have to do with anything?”

 

“Did you see this happening all along? You and me?”

 

“You really think I would have fought you for so long if I had?”

 

Hux felt something prickle at the back of his neck. It was never a good sign when someone answered a question with a question. “I don’t know,” he murmured. “You might not have been happy about it.”

 

“I’m happy now,” Ren blurted.

 

Hux took in his demeanour - the shame in his lowered eyes, the pained twist in his mouth – and pronounced this truth, odd as that might seem. But he couldn’t leave it there. “You still haven’t told me how you knew about me.” Suspicions had been gathering at the back of his mind for days now, settling into half-formed conclusions in his subconscious. He had been happy to leave them there for a while but this had changed everything.

 

He needed to know for sure.

 

Ren sighed and this time it sounded softer, unintentional.

 

“Ren?”


	6. Chapter 6

When Kylo was seven years old, he awoke to find a stranger standing at his end of his bed. He’d seen a shadow and jumped out of bed, reaching not for the light-switch but the lightsaber he kept hidden by the side of his bed.

 

It looked like a young boy, perhaps a couple of years older than him. Appearances could be deceiving. Besides, this kid was unnaturally pale.

 

“What are you?” The lightsaber burned bright blue against the darkness of the room. He wasn’t supposed to have it. He was supposed to leave it downstairs, only to be used the supervision of his parents but he felt vindicated now. He slashed at the air. The blade did not pierce the stranger. He hadn’t missed. The blade had simply passed through, like cutting a path through air.

 

The stranger just looked back at him with cold green eyes. Kylo swung forward to punch, stumbling a little as his hand met – well, nothing.

 

“You asked me a question but you couldn’t even wait for an answer,” the stranger observed.

 

Kylo’s breath came in heavy rasps, panic surging through his body. There were few problems he couldn’t solve with taking impetus to act and he tended not to like those remaining few. His uncle would have suggested meditation but he didn’t want to let his guard down around this thing.

 

“Calm down.” The stranger’s voice was scornful. “I’m here to help you.”

 

“Help me how? You still haven’t told me what you are. Why can’t I touch you?” gasped Kylo.

 

“Use your head. There is much about the Force that you still don’t know.”

 

“So you’re like a…” he searched for the word he had read somewhere in one Uncle Luke’s scattered notes. “Spirit guide? A creature of the Force?”

 

“That’s close enough.” It seemed amused. 

 

“What’s your name?” he asked because if this was really happening, he might as well know this phantom’s name.

 

“Hux.”

 

“Hux? That’s it?”

 

“That’s all I got,” Hux bit his lip. Kylo wondered how that worked given the incorporeal nature of the thing in front of him. “I know your name but I’d rather hear it from your lips.”

 

“It’s Ben. But don’t call me that,” he blurted. “I don’t like it.”

 

“You were named after someone,” Hux said.

 

“Yes.” The word comes out a hiss. He didn’t like his name because he hated the way it rolled off his tongue – all friendly, all casual. But he loathed it because he was named after someone he had never met, someone he could never live up to. Old Ben was the standard to which he would always be measured and it hadn’t even been his real name. There was some irony in that, Kylo felt.

 

“I won’t call you that. It’s not who you are,” said Hux, casting a long sweeping glance over him. “When I said I knew your name, I meant your true name.”

 

Kylo’s eyes widened. “How do you know about that?” He’d never told anyone about that whispered voice calling his name into the darkness.

 

The corner of Hux’s mouth curved upwards, a mysterious smile. “I know everything. You’ll get used to that about me, Kylo.”

 

Kylo’s eyes widened. He’d never heard the name said aloud, not even from his own lips. “Say it again, Hux.”

 

“Kylo.”

 

Kylo smiled, relaxed enough now to sit back down on his bed. “Are you him? Are you the voice that talks to me at night?”

 

There was an amused glint in Hux’s eyes. “No. We don’t sound anything alike, do we?”

 

Kylo had to admit that he had a point. He couldn’t quite imagine the low, whispery voice ever sounding quite as sarcastic as Hux currently did.

 

Hux looked to the curtain. “It’s almost light. Your parents will be up soon.”

 

Kylo pulled a face. “It’s just my mother.”

 

“I should still go,” said Hux. Kylo hadn’t meant to but he had obviously given Hux a look because he quickly added. “Don’t worry. You’ll see me again soon. We have a long path to walk together.”

 

It occurred to Kylo once Hux had gone that he had never once considered calling to his mother for help.

 

* * *

 

 

“Ben, you need to listen to your mother and me when we tell you that you are not to go flying off to Force-knows where in the middle of the night.”

 

“You wouldn’t understand! You don’t even have the Force! And you fly off yourself enough, so I don’t see why you even care!” he yelled back.

 

 The voice had told him to go into the city and he had gone. It had been great. He’d seen a real fight and everything. What was the big deal? He was fine – he’d taken his Lightsaber with him, just in case.

 

“I am your father and an adult. You are a child. If you need to go somewhere, you wait until morning and ask one of us.”

 

“Whichever one is home, right?” he sneered.

 

“I’m sorry, kid, but our lives don’t just revolve around you. I think we’re being pretty reasonable. You feel the call from the Force or whatever, then you come and tell one of us. That’s the end of the story. When you have your own place, you can do what you want, but for now, you live under our rules.”

 

Kylo grasped at his hair. Nothing he said seemed to matter. His dad was just reading off a script left for him by mom.

 

“Since when does he care about rules?”

 

Kylo’s head flew up at the now familiar voice. Sure enough, Hux was standing right behind his father, examining him, with lip curled.

 

“He was a smuggler, wasn’t he?”

 

Han’s head turned slightly, following the train of Kylo’s gaze. Kylo hid a sharp intake of breath but no, it was clear that his father could neither see nor hear Hux.

 

Kylo turned his head to look straight ahead, putting his father back in his direct line of sight. His father wasn’t a complete idiot, for all that he was Force-blind and the last thing he needed was for him to find out about this.

 

Besides, Hux has given him his next line. “You’re a smuggler. What do you care about rules?”

 

“Former-smuggler,” his father corrected, trying to hide a grin. “And your mother doesn’t want you wandering around, so for my sake, please don’t wander off. She’d kill me if anything happened to you on my watch.”

 

“He’s trying to get you on side,” muttered Hux. “Shifting the blame.”

 

Kylo wanted to protest: maybe he was telling the truth. His father had always allowed him to get away with a lot more than his mother had, provided they kept it a little secret.

 

“Come on, kid, I’m trying to work with you here,” his father said.

 

“There are two options. Either he’s a hypocrite or he’s weak,” Hux insisted, looking over his father with disgust.

 

“Hypocrite!” Kylo shouted, unaware that he had made a choice until the word was off his lips. He turned around and stormed off.

 

Hux was waiting in his room when he got back. “I would have gone with weak.”

 

That night Kylo heard the other voice again and he told Kylo much the same thing in a greater amount of words. He told Kylo that he was stronger than that.

 

Kylo found himself wondering what would happen if he left in the middle of the night and just didn’t come back.

 

* * *

 

 

He didn’t get the chance. When his mother came back she made the decision for herself to send him away to Uncle Luke. His father just agreed. _Weak._

 

“It’ll be good for you,” she reassured him, stroking his hair as he allowed tears to slip from his eyes. “You love training with a lightsaber, well, you’ll be able to do that every day whilst you’re with Luke. And when you come back, we’ll be able to welcome you as our brave little Jedi.”

 

He nodded.

 

“Alright. I’ll finish up the preparations for you to leave,” she said, and drew away far too soon, leaving Kylo alone on the bed. “It’s for the best, you’ll see.

 

The bedroom door closed behind her and Kylo drew the covers around him and tried to muffle his sobs.

 

“Did you actually believe all that?” scoffed Hux, joining Kylo on the bed. “I mean, talk about a performance.”

 

Kylo looked up at him, eyes still wet. There was no point hiding it. Hux had seen him cry many times before.

 

Hux sighed and waved a hand over Kylo’s shoulder in the only show of comfort he could manage. “Look. It’s hard to hear but I know you’d prefer the harsh truth to a soft lie – you’re stronger than them and it scares them. They think you’re like your grandfather. He was strong too and that power scares them.”

 

“He killed people,” whispered Kylo. He had heard his parents, his Uncle, talk about Vader in hushed tones so that he wouldn’t hear but it had taken a school-yard bully’s taunts to reveal the truth of his family history. His grandfather had been a monster, the Emperor’s right hand man. A killer.

 

“Ben Kenobi killed people. The Jedi kill people all the time for their own reasons,” said Hux, dismissively.

 

Kylo didn’t want to think about that argument now. “Will you come with me? When I leave the planet?” It came out more desperately than he intended but the thought of losing Hux too was unbearable.

 

“It will be harder for me to see you there.”

 

Kylo’s lip started to quiver again. He hugged his pillow and wished hopelessly that he could embrace Hux, just once.

 

Hux’s tone softened fractionally. “But I would never leave you. I told you.”

 

* * *

 

 

 Art by the amazing [sadaf-wadj](http://sadaf-wadj.tumblr.com/) <3 Thank you so much!


	7. Chapter 7

Kylo had been training with his Uncle for almost a month and he had neither seen nor heard anything of Hux. He almost believed that he wasn’t coming back. The first few days were the hardest of course. He was surrounded at all hours of the day – by his Uncle, his fellow classmates, Luke’s older apprentices. He never got an hour to himself and yet he went to bed lonely every night.

 

They all called him Ben.

 

Then he had been sent off for firewood. He supposed they thought that he had been there long enough to be trusted with one measly unsupervised task. Or perhaps he’d been asked just so Luke could keep the whispers of favouritism, of nepotism, at bay. Either way, he had been sent off to the forest to collect firewood for the entire camp.

 

The woods were lovely in their own way, deep and dark. The sounds of the forest - the low hum of insects, the rustling of leaves, the sharp cries of birds – were oddly soothing to his ears. It was louder than the camp to the ear but quieter to the mind. The task was menial, boring, beneath him, but he had to admit he didn’t hate this.

 

“I’m not sure what I expected of Jedi training but I don’t think it was this.”

 

Kylo’s head snapped up. “Hux,” he breathed. “Where have you been?”

 

Hux waved a hand. “That’s a complicated question. The important thing is, I’m here now.”

 

“I’ve been waiting, you ass.” Kylo punctuated this statement by throwing down the bundle of logs he had been holding.

 

“Well, if you’re going to be like that,” Hux sniffed.

 

“No no no no. Hux, wait, please,” Kylo rushed out.

 

“I told you it’d be harder for me to talk to you here.”

 

“What can I do to make it easier? Please, Hux, I hate these people.” He hated the whine in his voice more but he couldn’t take it back.

 

Hux tilted his head to one side, considering. “It’s easier for me to see you here. You should come here more often.”

 

“I don’t know how I can get sent out here again. It might be months,” protested Kylo.

 

Hux raised an elegant eyebrow. “Since when do you need to be sent anywhere? Come at night, when the others are asleep. That is, if you want to see me.”

 

“I’ll find a way.”

 

“Good boy.”

 

* * *

 

The problem with sneaking out to the forest at night was that, even after all the effort Kylo went to get out of the camp, there was still no guarantee that Hux was even going to show up. Well, no, there were actually multiple problems: the cold night air, the tremors of anxiety that always accompanied the escape, the inexplicable tiredness in the morning when he presented himself for the usual training. But all of these were acceptable if Hux came. He usually did.

 

This was not one of those nights. Kylo had been waiting for hours and hours, staring up at the icy glow of the moons, breath blooming in clouds around his face. He was tempted to just pack it in, to go back to the relative warmth of his bed and dream himself elsewhere. But no, he waited. Just for a little while longer.

 

“Kylo Ren.”

 

The voice was not Hux’s. It was the other voice, the voice without a form. Kylo felt hope bloom in his chest - there had been a reason to wait after all! He hadn’t heard the voice at all since he’d been on his Jedi training. He had been half tempted to consider himself abandoned for some slight.

 

“I have been watching you, child,” the voice said, kindly. “I have been impressed. In such a short time your powers have multiplied by the hundred.”

 

Kylo shook his head and felt silly. The voice couldn’t see him. “Un- Master Luke doesn’t agree. I must be the worst padawan in the entire class.”

 

“Search your feelings; you know this to be false. He’s holding you back – he’s afraid of your power.”

 

They’d never had such a conversation before. The voice had whispered to him the past – his true name, encouragements, advice – but he had never talked to him as if he were really there. Kylo bit his lip. “He wouldn’t do that.”

 

He didn’t even sound convinced to his own ears.

 

“You are loyal. This is a valuable trait. Just ensure that you give your loyalty to those who deserve it. To those who will not hold you back.”

 

“Who are you?”

 

“My name is Snoke and if you’ll let me, I’ll teach you things about the Force that Skywalker would never even dream to.”

 

“Like what?” He tried not to sound too eager.

 

“I will give you your first lesson now, if you wish.”

 

* * *

 

 

From then on, he was never sure if a visit to the forest would merit a visit from Hux or a visit from Snoke. He didn’t care. He had two people now. Two people that understood, that listened. He almost wished that he could introduce the two but they were never around at the same time.

 

In another sense he was glad. This way he got both of them to himself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m scared,” he admitted for the first time. His head was bowed, looking down at the group of padawans below. From his vantage point, a tall tree overlooking the camp, they looked so small. So insignificant. He hated them. He hated them all. “What if I don’t pass Snoke’s test? What if I pass and it’s the wrong choice after all?”

 

“Look at me,” Hux commanded.

 

Kylo looked up. Hux was slouched on the branch beside him, all lazy self-assurance.

 

“You won’t be afraid for long. He’ll strip the fear from you, you’ll see,” Hux’s hands traced the planes of Kylo’s face, so close they could almost touch (even if they couldn’t).

 

“What if it doesn’t work?”

 

Hux bared his teeth in a not-quite grin. “Then he’ll kill you and the fear will be gone.”

 

“Does he know about you?” Kylo asked. “What will happen to you if I go?”

 

“That’s weakness, sweet boy,” said Hux. “Don’t worry about me. He has no notion of my existence and I intend to keep it way.”

 

“I won’t tell,” said Kylo.

 

“I will always help you,” Hux said. “But I think it’s time now and you must take the test alone.”

 

“I’ll see you soon,” said Kylo.

 

Hux smiled and vanished.

 

* * *

 

 

Hux had been right. He was always right – a fact that was both infuriating and comforting. Kylo had seen more of him training under Snoke than he ever had training with Luke.

 

He chose to take it as a sign.

 

* * *

 

 

“You will meet with Commandant Brendol Hux. He ran the Academy on Arkanis and has much to say on the training of the Stormtroopers. His programmes have been extremely influential on the structure and policies of the First Order,” said Snoke one day, as casual as anything. “It is important that you understand the operations of the Order if you are to lead it.  

 

Kylo froze at the name. He’d never come across anyone else with that name before, no-one besides Hux.

 

It was a large galaxy, it could be a coincidence. It might even be a common name on some planets. But too many years of Force training had destroyed the part of him that was even capable of believing in coincidences.

 

“You seemed troubled, my apprentice,” said Snoke.

 

“No. I will meet with him as you requested.”

 

Snoke, even if holographic form, did not look convinced. “Very well. See that you do. Remember that you may trust all of your troubles to me. I am your master, not your judge.”

 

“Yes, master.”

 

* * *

 

 

He held his breath as Commandant Brendol Hux stepped off the shuttle. The hair looked like it might have been red once. Kylo stared hard and was glad of the mask to shield his eyes. He reached out through the Force and wondered if the other man could feel it. If he did, he made no sign of it. He stayed at a surface level. He wasn’t even sure what it was he was looking for. His mind was locked up very tightly – it was difficult to get much of anything off him. There was something else, something about this man’s mind he couldn’t quite explain – it felt ever so slightly off but not in any way he could quantify.  He sensed no power, though, nothing to tie him to the Force.

 

“Don’t even try to put me in the same category as him,” Hux sneered, inspecting the Commandant up close.

 

Kylo should have known that he would show up.

 

“Commandant Hux. The Supreme Leader spoke highly of your expertise,” said Kylo, trying his level best to ignore Hux.

 

“I am glad,” Commandant Hux replied, sounding pleased but not surprised. “I have much to show you, if you wouldn’t mind taking me to the nearest conference room. The presentation works much better with visual aids.”

 

“Straight down to business. He didn’t even ask for your name.”

 

Kylo felt like objecting that he must have already known Kylo’s name but there was no way of doing so, so he kept his mouth clamped shut.

 

The Commandant stared at him in a manner that bordered on rude. Kylo jumped. Could he see Hux?

 

“He asked you a question, idiot,” said Hux.

 

Kylo resisted the urge to hit out at Hux. It had been _his_ fault that he had missed the question in the first place. He wondered whether he should ask again but that would just make him look stupid. Not that this was making him look any more intelligent.

 

Hux sighed. “Fine. I’ll help you. He asked you whether you had a spare conference room so he could show you his ideas for the presentation.”

 

“There’s a conference room right this way,” he said, glad to hear that at least his voice sounded intimidating through the filter of the mask. He walked off, keeping his strides long.

 

Commandant Brendol Hux kept step and Kylo could hear his thoughts without even trying.

 

_Idiot._

Kylo spent the next two and a half hours in a conference room, having basic training protocol slowly explained to his as though he were a child. Hux spent the entire time talking over the Commandant, mocking everything he said. It made it exceptionally difficult to listen to even the patronising lecture that was being performed in front of him.

 

He hated both Huxes by the time the meeting was over.

 

* * *

 

 “What did you do that for? You made me look like an idiot!” Kylo raged, when he was back in his quarters.

 

Hux smiled. It was not a nice smile. “You really care about looking like an idiot in front of him? He’s nothing but a pompous, self-important windbag.”

 

Kylo didn’t disagree but that wasn’t the point. “I have a position in this organisation! I-” Rage boiled over and robbed him of words. He pulled out his lightsaber, the one he had made for himself, and red light spurted from the handle. He swiped through Hux and hit up against the computer console. White sparks flew. Kylo hit and hit and hit again.

 

The anger drained as fast as it had arrived, leaving only shakiness and sweat.

 

“I thought you had learned to manage these childish tantrums,” said Hux.

 

Kylo breathed in and out heavily, a dark weight settling on his chest. “I’m not the childish one. I’m not the one who spent all afternoon lashing out because someone happens to share the same name. What, there can only be one?” It felt like grasping at straws but the words left his mouth in a desperate attempt at justification nonetheless.

 

Hux had nothing to say to that. His lips were pursed in a sour, un-amused expression. 

 

Kylo felt a jump of something – victory? No, not that, not yet. “Unless there’s something else you’re not telling me? Because red hair, the name Hux – that all seems pretty strange to be a coincidence. Don’t you think?”

 

“I’ve had enough of this. I’m leaving.”

 

* * *

 

 

Hux didn’t come back for three months. Three months of waiting and wondering if he’d ever return.

 

Then he appeared one day like nothing had ever happened.

 

They never mentioned the incident again. Kylo wouldn’t even let himself wonder.

 

He couldn’t be left alone again.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Kylo’s shuttle landed on the Finalizer about 20 minutes past the specified time-slot. It couldn’t be helped – battles were unpredictable in their run-time. He was to be greeted by Brendol Hux II. The name didn’t make his heart jump with recognition the way it had when he had first heard that one syllable surname drop from Snoke’s lips. This was Commandant’s son. There was no connection there. Hux had told him that.  Kylo just hoped he’d be more competent than some of the other officers he had to suffer. At the very least he had to be better than his odious father.

 

“You ready for this?” Hux said.

 

Kylo didn’t have time to ask what. He was already half-way off the shuttle and…there he was.

 

“Hux,” he blurted. He swivelled his head. His Hux was still standing next to him. He was very literally seeing double.

 

This new Hux pursed his lips and Kylo could sense irritation rolling off him in waves. It was aimed in his direction though he couldn’t imagine what he had done to warrant such a reaction. “Lord Ren.”

 

His Hux grinned and walked over to stand right next to his corporeal counterpart. No, this man was not like his Hux at all. It was so obvious when they stood side by side. This Hux was as stiff as the starched collar on his uniform. His face was pallid, set in a mask of dispassionate disapproval. He had even managed to make that blazing red hair look dull, all combed back and gelled into submission. His Hux’s eyes were dancing, the amusement written all over his face. His Hux leant behind other Hux and perched his head on his shoulder. It was entirely ridiculous, like a two-headed creature – one stern and lifeless, the other full of fierce hunger for everything.

 

He choked back a laugh behind his mask.

 

Other Hux just blinked but somehow he still managed to look incredibly annoyed. This was not going well. Other Hux (as Kylo had officially decided to call him) offered a hand. Kylo didn’t usually shake hands but he reached out and took other Hux’s just to check. Real. There was solid flesh underneath the black leather of his gloves. He wasn’t sure what he expected.

 

They walked side by side. The distance made him uncertain of this Hux’s corporeality again. He reached out and put a hand on Hux’s shoulder, steering him forward. This Hux turned and gave him a look of pure disgust.

 

“After you, Hux,” he added. That was polite, right?

 

Hux marched forward, out of Ren’s reach, the sound of his heavy footsteps reverberating off the ship’s metallic walls.

 

“I’m sure you will be most impressed by this ship’s capacity,” said Hux, without much in the way of intonation. It was like he was reading from a script. “It can hold 82,000 humans and is equipped with over 1500 turbolasers. Preparations for the construction of Starkiller base are already underway and as you will see, we have made sufficient progress to allow the construction to commence several days ahead of schedule.”

 

“He thinks you should be impressed with all this technology,” his Hux sneered. “He’s so bound to these material things, these schedules and plans. He has no idea of the true power you wield.”

 

“I see,” Kylo said.

 

The other Hux opened his mouth but promptly closed it again. Those two words seemed enough to irritate him.

 

“You have been assigned quarters in the beta sector. The rooms have been modified according to the specifications sent over by the Supreme Leader so they should be suited to your needs.”

 

“He thinks it was a waste of time,” his Hux translated, gleefully. “He had to spend weeks ordering the correct materials and contracting sufficiently skilled craftspeople. It took him away from his one true love.”

 

Kylo frowned under his mask. True love? The General didn’t seem like someone who could love anyone – it’d probably mess up his precious schedule.

 

“Starkiller base, of course,” his Hux clarified.

 

He realised too late that other Hux was probably expecting some response. He nodded his head and hoped that it would do.

 

“Meals are served in the cafeteria on a standard rotation. You will find a datapad with all the necessary details in your quarters.”

 

“I won’t be eating there,” Kylo said, without thinking. He would not be taking off his mask in front of the crew. That was non-negotiable.

 

Other Hux pursed his lips. “You may, of course, take your meals to your quarters to eat.”

 

“He nearly always eats his meals in his own quarters – when he remembers to eat that is – because he wouldn’t want to waste his time with mere social interaction when he could be in the company of his darling schematics.”

 

Kylo nodded.

 

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Lord Ren?” other Hux asked, in clipped tones.

 

“I will call upon you if I need anything further.”

 

“Then I will take my leave of you. A droid will show you to your quarters.” He abruptly spun on his heel and walked off, leaving a dazed Kylo to follow a silent silver droid through the warren of a ship to his own quarters.

 

* * *

 

 

“What’s going on?” Kylo asked, the moment the droid had left.

 

His Hux gave a sly, cat-like smile. “Whatever do you mean?”

 

“Why does he look like you?”

 

Hux looked down at his finger-nails. “Does he? I don’t have that constipated look on my face all the time.”

 

Kylo sighed and flopped onto the bed. “I’m not in the mood for games.”

 

Hux followed him and they lay side by side, not touching because they couldn’t. Hux reached out a hand to poke Kylo’s face and Kylo felt not the touch of a hand but rather the absence of contact. “That’s too bad because I want to play. These are the rules: you look for the answers then ask me questions – I can only answer yes or no.”

 

Kylo huffed. “Why can’t you just tell me?”

 

“I don’t feel like it.”

 

“Does he know you exist?”

 

Hux gave him a look. “No. Of course not. If the Supreme Leader doesn’t know, then how would he know?” He was breaking the rules of his own game already but that was Hux all over.

 

“Did you know he was going to be here?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Kylo considered what to ask next. He briefly thought about asking why Hux hadn’t bothered to forewarn him but the answer was clear enough: it had been more amusing for Hux this way.

 

“And the Supreme Leader? You’re sure he doesn’t know? Why would he choose him, of all the millions of people in galaxy, if he didn’t know about you?”

 

Hux shrugged. “Hired him for his pedigree presumably. But that wasn’t a question with a yes or no answer.”

 

Kylo ignored the rebuke and asked the question he was really interested in the answer to. “What’s his connection to you?”

 

Hux clearly didn’t want to answer that because he disappeared, leaving Kylo alone with far too much empty space on the bed. Kylo turned over into the empty space, his face sinking into the pillow. It was completely cold. As usual.

 

Why couldn’t the other Hux be the phantom and his Hux be flesh? The other Hux clearly didn’t use his body much, inhabiting the thing like a droid.

 

It would hard not to hold it against him but Kylo would try his best to get along with the man. For the sake of the Order.

 

That didn’t mean he couldn’t investigate on his own.

 

* * *

 

 

It soon became apparent that other Hux loathed Kylo. He was almost grateful. At least it was an emotion.

 

It didn’t take long for the feeling to become entirely mutual. Kylo would have hated him under any circumstance: he was so aggravatingly pompous, so concerned about mundane little details, so linear. That he wore a face so close to that of his Hux just added insult to injury.

 

Sometimes the hatred left a mark so deep, Kylo often found himself drawn out of meditation and into rageful action. It only made it worse, of course. His Hux may have called Starkiller Base General Hux’s first love, but the ship was definitely at least a beloved mistress.

 

There was a certain amount of joy in smashing up the ship now.

 

* * *

 

 

He’d waited a while before he’d done it. Too soon and his Hux would have known. He just would have. The other Hux didn’t trust him either, to the point where he was practically watching his every other move. No. He’d remembered his training. Patience. Palpatine had conquered the entire galaxy with patience. He could wait a few months to find out the truth.

 

So there he was now, months later, in his command shuttle, going all the way to Arkanis. He had already planned what he was going to say. He’d been thinking about it enough over the months, so he spent the long journey in meditation. Away from the ship and away from Hux – General Hux that is – it was so much easier. Everything was so much clearer when he was not around.

 

The computer jolted him out of thought hours later. He was there. Time to find out the truth.

 

He’d looked up the address in advance but he would have been able to find it anyway. It was possible to sense the presence of someone you had met before but even easier when that person was so closely related to someone he was forced to spend all day, every day, around.

 

He didn’t hesitate before knocking when he reached the door. It was better not to think about these things.

 

The door swung open almost impossibly fast, like Commandant Hux had just been hovering on the other side, waiting for a knock.

 

“Commandant Hux,” he said. “I am aware that this visit is unexpected but I would very much like to talk to you.”

 

The Commandant did not look at all phased. “Come in then.”

 

The house was relatively modest; not what Kylo had been expected. With the General’s attitude, he had expected a mansion. This was more along the lines of the sparse, under-decorated rooms of the Finalizer but smaller.

 

Kylo sat down on a chair without being invited.

 

“What brings you here, Ren?” Commandant Hux pronounces the name with less venom than his son but with no less disdain.

 

“I wished to enquire further about the Stormtrooper Programme. The last meeting was so informative.” He hated to flatter the man but if it worked…

 

The Commandant’s expression did not change. “Was it not possible to ask General Hux? I believe the two of you are working together.”

 

“I am,” said Kylo, neutrally. “But sometimes it is worth seeking the opinion of one removed from the situation.”

 

Commandant Hux took a datapad from the shelves without having to search. The whole place was meticulously organised, the way Kylo had always imagined that General Hux’s quarters were (he had never actually been invited to them). He pressed a few buttons and opened up a mass of files.

 

“What is it you’re looking for specifically? Training regimens? Reconditioning procedures? Formations? It would be helpful to know so that I don’t waste your time with unnecessary information.”

 

Kylo suspected sarcasm but the man’s tone was so neutral, his expression so bland, that he couldn’t confirm it without going into the man’s mind. Which he was planning to do anyway but it was going to have to be subtle – he wasn’t just going to Force himself in there right away.

 

“Oh, the last one,” he said, as breezily as was possible through his mask.

 

“Right. Well, as I’m sure you know there are seven standard basic Stormtrooper formations and a further thirteen for, shall we say, abnormal situations…” he started to drone, rattling off the information as though this were a normally scheduled appointment.

 

Kylo nodded and pretended to listen whilst he started the real work. Mind-reading was difficult to accomplish without the subject knowing about it. This wouldn’t work in an interrogation – the subject’s mind was always too clinched up, too defensive for it to work. No matter how stoic the subject was, the interrogations inevitably ending in screaming agony. Kylo would have no problem putting this man through that under normal circumstances but the need for stealth far overwhelmed the vague feeling that he wouldn’t mind this man in pain.

 

He slowly started to reach for the surface of the Commandant’s mind, hovering over the surface whilst the man talked, slowly pressing into it – hopefully, slow enough that the man wouldn’t even notice the change in pressure.

 

There was something oddly smooth about the slide into Commandant Hux’s mind. It was less sharp than he had expected, containing fewer edges. Everything felt slightly warm, slightly fuzzy. There was a buzz of activity in his brain and – a surface memory flicked over Kylo’s mind. There was a bottle in Commandant Hux’s hand and it was nearly empty. Oh.

 

Kylo hadn’t expected this. There was certainly no sign from the outside but this must have been what he felt the hint of last time. Kylo moved slowly, gently probing the memories as the man continued to talk. That was good. If he stopped suddenly, if he changed track, that’d be the sign he needed that he had set off an alarm somewhere. It wasn’t hard to unearth hundreds, if not thousands of similar memories, all blurring into one.

 

He almost wondered why but that wasn’t what he was here for. He would have to drink to live with himself if he were as dull as Commandant Hux. But this was useful. This made it easier. His mind was relaxed, primed to be mined for information.

 

Kylo milled about endlessly, struggling to get past the surface information. The man thought relentlessly about military strategy, stormtrooper training programmes, who he predicted would be the next rising star of the Order. Kylo could also feel his thoughts towards him and they were none too flattering. As he suspected, the man considered him an idiot. He also seemed to think that Kylo was only there as some power move against his son and - _there_! That was the way in.

 

Commandant Hux thought about his son a lot, Kylo soon discovered, and most of those thoughts were tinged with disappointment. He was always comparing Hux against his- Kylo stopped and parsed what he was seeing. There was another General Hux, another copy like his Hux. His brother? No. Not brother. The man was wearing an imperial uniform.

 

 _Oh._ It was obvious now that Kylo had found out. Perhaps he had suspected it all along.

 

“Did you say something?” Commandant Hux asked.

 

Kylo was sorry for the mask because it meant the man couldn’t possibly know how he was looking at him now. “Nothing at all.”

 

* * *

 

 

He resisted the urge to call out to his Hux on the journey back to the Finalizer. He might come when Kylo needed him but he didn’t come when called. He only ever showed up when he wanted to.

 

He would be there later.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo wasn’t surprised that his Hux was waiting for him in his quarters when he got back.

 

“You’re a clone, aren’t you?”

 

Hux clapped slowly, his face pinched into a bitter smile. “Congratulations. You figured it out, finally.”

 

“How many of there are you? Why are you like this?”

 

“Like what?” Hux bristled.

 

“Incorporeal. Are you a Force-ghost?” Kylo wondered aloud.

 

“I was barely even born. I died in infancy and the Commandant created an immediate replacement. That’s him. Your General Hux,” he sneered. “But I didn’t leave. I aged alongside him. Then the Force brought me to you. You know the rest.”

 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Kylo had told Hux everything. Hux had seen him smash up rooms, seen him weeping for hours like a pathetic child, seen him fail again and again. Why couldn’t he have just said?

 

“Don’t be stupid.” He left.

 

As usual.

 

Kylo breathed in and out. The revelation itself hadn’t hit him hard, hadn’t changed what he thought about Hux. But the fact that he had been forced to go looking for it had just shown him that this had always been entirely one-sided. He’d shared everything with Hux and Hux had shared…nothing. Hux had hated his father, as he had hated his, but he had never said a word. He had never told Kylo that they were the same. He’d just flickered in and out of his life, wearing a mask of condescending superiority.

 

He curled his hands into a fist. He propelled it through the air then stopped mid-swing before he hit the console. No. He wasn’t going to do that. He didn’t need to do that. He didn’t need Hux.

 

He could stand alone.

 

 

* * *

 

 

General Hux found out. Of course he did. He knew everything. Everything except his own lineage apparently.

 

“You met with Commandant Hux again. Why?” Hux asked, lip quivering slightly – with anger Kylo thought, not fear.

 

He referred to his father by title. Interesting. He wondered if Brendol Hux I had raised him more like a trooper than a son. What he had seen in his mind had certainly not left him with a strong impression of fatherly love; the disappointment had so strongly overwhelmed any other emotion. Perhaps that was why he was so vehemently against clones, because the experiment had failed in his eyes. He knew what _that_ was like – there was a reason he was an only child. He tried desperately not to feel sorry for the General; the Hux-line seemed perfectly designed to stand in his way. He just hoped there weren’t more of them waiting to cross his path. “That’s none of your concern, General.”

 

“It wasn’t on the schedule,” Hux continued, as though that were the most important part of this. Perhaps it was to him, Kylo never really knew with him. “You cannot just use Order equipment whenever you feel like it to satisfy your personal whims.”

 

Kylo stood there impassive.

 

“Do you have nothing to say? Will you be this quiet when I bring your conduct in front of the Supreme Leader?”

 

Kylo’s heart pounded hard in his chest. He couldn’t have Hux tell his master. That would just raise questions he couldn’t answer.

 

“You should have known he’d go tattling back to Snoke,” incorporeal Hux drawled, apparently enjoying the situation enough to manifest himself.

 

Kylo clenched his hands into fists, power bubbling uselessly to the surface.

 

“Walk away. There’s nothing you can do now. He’ll call his _father_ first to see if you found anything. He doesn’t know what there is to find but he’s paranoid now. He won’t risk you revealing something incriminating in front of the Supreme Leader.”

 

“It’s your choice, General. I take my leave of you.” He swept out past both Hux’s - glimpsing opposite expressions on identical faces: an approving grin from incorporeal Hux, blank anger from the other.

 

Somehow incorporeal Hux’s approval felt worse.

 

From outside the room, he could hear laboured breathing from General Hux and then, sure enough, the sound of movements that signalled the dialling of a comm-channel.

 

“Commandant Hux,” General Hux greeted the man, using the title even in private conversation. “It has come to my attention that you recently received a visit from Kylo Ren. I wanted to inform you that this visit was unauthorised by the Order and that anything he may have said to you is not considered official intelligence by the Order.”

 

“He didn’t tell me anything. He didn’t ask me anything. He just wanted to know standard information about the Stormtrooper Programme, information that is all readily available as a matter of order protocol,” Commandant Hux said, bluntly.

 

“Are you sure?” Hux was insistent in his desperation.

 

“He did it to throw you off and it’s working! You’ve fallen right into his trap like the fool you are. I thought I taught you better than that but here you are again, acting like you’re still a cadet in the Academy.”

 

“Father, I-”

 

“Don’t waste my time with this any further. If you’re wise, you won’t waste your time either.”

 

The call terminated abruptly and Kylo heard nothing more than the rise and fall of Hux’s breath. Kylo sped off down the hallway, unsure as to why his heart was pounding so hard in his chest, but certain that he didn’t want to be caught lurking.

 

* * *

 

 

Two weeks later, Brendol Hux died in a freak accident and Kylo couldn’t help but wonder if that was the last time Hux spoke to his father.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

The question lay mostly forgotten in the rush of events that soon followed. Snoke had given him a new task: find Luke Skywalker and finish the job of wiping the Jedi off the face of the galaxy.

 

The trouble was it was easier said than done. The damned map was hidden in a droid. It should have been easy to get his hands on it, it was a mechanical being after all, but it was proving more difficult than he had expected. What was worse was that General Hux was there the whole time, sneering in his face, trying to position himself between Kylo and Snoke.

 

He had told the General that he wanted the map and that he had better get it. He’d stepped into his space, leaning close with the mask designed to invoke fear. The other officers would have flinched back but Hux would not be intimidated. He stared back, refusing to break eye-contact.

 

Even with the mask as protection, Kylo still felt _seen._ He could feel the fear twist inside him. Even after all this time, he had not managed to purge himself of it.

 

He stormed off.

 

* * *

 

 

For the first time in years, he found himself face to face with his father.

 

‘Ben,’ his father called him. The name rang in his ears and it sounded less like a slight and more like temptation. ‘Come home,’ his father said and Kylo wanted to. He wanted to despite it all.

 

Snoke had told him what he had to do. The path was clear. He was just…

 

“What are you waiting for?” It was Hux.

 

“I know what I have to do, I just don’t know if I have the strength to do it,” he blurted, slipping into the familiar role. “Will you help me?”

 

His father and Hux spoke at the same time. “Anything.”

 

There were three sets of hands on the lightsaber.

 

“Kill him,” urged Hux. “You said it yourself – he’s weak. Prove you’re not weak.”

 

Kylo hesitated.

 

“He abandoned you! Let go of your fear and give him what he deserves! The strength you desire is within your reach – you just need to take it!” screamed Hux.

 

Kylo plunged the blade through his father’s chest and Hux vanished, leaving him to watch as his father’s body fell.

 

He didn’t feel strong.

 

* * *

 

 

The scavenger defeated him. She, a mere untrained child, had managed to beat him. He’d proven himself weak. He lay there in the snow, unable to move. He was so numb. Icy water seeped through his robes to his skin but he could not shiver. This was it, then. He closed his eyes.

 

“Hux,” he croaked out but his voice died on his lips.

 

No-one came.

 

He should have known that he’d die alone.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo’s eyes fluttered open, everything a blur of colour, slowly coming into focus. He frowned up at the face floating ethereally above him because it was indeed a face he was looking at – and a familiar face at that. Was he dead? Was Hux here to greet him? He felt warm arms around him, carrying him. His face was so achingly cold. Why was his face so cold?

 

“Hux,” he croaked out.

 

“Arrogant brat,” a voice muttered but the tone sounded almost fond.

 

Kylo closed his eyes. He felt like he was floating, adrift, but still safe somehow. If this was death, if this was merging with the Force, then this was okay. The Sith had always wanted to live forever but this, this was…

 

He blacked out before he could finish that thought.

 

* * *

 

 

When he woke up he was sure of only one thing: he was alive. He wouldn’t be in this much pain if he wasn’t. He looked around but even moving his head hurt, his neck stiff and screaming. There was a steady humming sound in the background. The room was sterile, even by First Order standards, decked out in paler colours than were usual for the order.

 

“You’re in the med-bay,” said Hux, answering his unspoken question.

 

“Hux?”

 

There was movement on the other side of the room and Hux came into view – General Hux. His uniform was disorderly but unmistakably his.

 

“General,” he corrected himself. “How did I get here?”

 

“I wondered if you were conscious,” Hux muttered, seemingly more for his own benefit than for Kylo’s. He straightened, standing upright and he strengthened his tone to match. “The Supreme Leader commanded that I should rescue you. You will continue your training with Snoke once you are healed.”

 

“That was you?” Kylo felt hazy but the memory of being carried had burnt a strong impression in his mind, like a dream you felt sure was real, even after waking.

 

Hux looked at him blankly, face set into a mask.

 

His eyes widened. “You carried me out of the snow. I saw you.”

 

“Yes. I had to transport you somehow.”

 

Kylo didn’t realise he was reaching out to Hux until Hux abruptly pulled back. There was something he wanted to say but the words seemed stuck on his tongue, stuck in his mind. Distant frustration tingled in his heavy limbs, denied action.

 

“The medical team will see to you now. You will be well cared for here, Ren,” said Hux. He turned and Kylo could see him shake.

 

“You’re tired.”

 

It wasn’t an insult but Hux seemed to take it as one.

 

“I am perfectly fine. I have not been able to sleep since the destruction of Starkiller; I have had too many duties. So if you’ll excuse me now-”

 

He was angry. He was always so angry with Kylo. But he hadn’t been before…

 

“You’ve been waiting for me to wake-up,” Kylo guessed. “You wanted to make sure that I-”

 

“You are an important asset to Snoke, to the Order. It would be remiss of me not to ensure that you are still alive. Now that I have, I can report it back to Snoke,” he said, strutting off before Kylo could get in another word.

 

“Thank you.”

 

It was too late but the words had come to him at last.

 

-

 

General Hux came to check on him now and again the med-bay but always when he thought Kylo was sleeping. Most of the time he was sleeping – the med-droid would tell him that stopped by when woke up and Kylo felt oddly sad that he, this man that he hated, hadn’t waited until he woke up.

 

He supposed he was just checking on his asset. Snoke wouldn’t be happy if he up and died. Given their relationship, it was probably better for his recovery that he didn’t see Hux. He had to lie very still and anything that induced anger in him was likely to spur him into action that might very well re-open his wounds.

 

Still, there was nothing to do but lie there any go over his failures in his mind. The scavenger. The traitor. Both had managed to wound him. And his father…

 

No. He would not go down that path. He had done what he had to do. The others he could defeat later. They had shown weakness: they had left him alive. He would take advantage of that weakness and strike back. They were all on track. The Order could rebuild its petty weapon.

 

Snoke would train him and he would become stronger. Strong enough to defeat all of his enemies alone.

 

* * *

 

 

He started as he saw the familiar face in his quarters – the General, in his quarters! But no, it wasn’t him. It was the other Hux. Of course.

 

“You haven’t wanted to see me alone, not since about me,” said Hux. “That’s fine. But there’s something you need to do. Something with the other Hux.”

 

He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What is it?”

 

“You need to schedule a meeting with him, to speak to him.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I’ll tell you what to say once you actually do it,” said Hux. “Look, I helped you with Solo, didn’t I?.”

 

Kylo took in a staggered breath, trying to keep his calm. The anger had faded since he had last seen his childhood friend but he’d be damned if wasn’t just re-opening all the old wounds. “Why should I do what you say?”

 

“I’ve always been there for you. Trust me. I haven’t led you wrong before.”

 

Kylo bowed his head, considering. Years of memories tugged on his resolve, starting to unravel it.

 

“He’s an arrogant bastard, my brother,” said Hux. “And he’s hated you from the moment he set eyes on you. Let me help you with him. We’re cut from the same cloth, after all.”

 

Kylo nodded but it felt like a defeat. “Alright. A meeting then.”

 

* * *

 

 

The first attempt didn’t go well. Not well at all. Hux, the General that was, had been avoiding him as much as possible since Starkiller. He’d done it so often, it seemed easy enough to side-step Kylo here. There were barely suppressed waves of rage emanating from him whenever they met and Kylo could feel it now more than ever. Not that it was new but there was something else too, something he just couldn’t get at without subjecting him to a full blown mind probe. And he wasn’t going to do that.

 

His heart hadn’t been in this anyway.

 

“He told you to organise a meeting, so organise a meeting,” other Hux said.

 

Kylo did not turn but there was no-one in this hallway so he felt justified in answering aloud. “Is it really that important?”

 

“Can you imagine his face when he sees that you’ve actually gone to the trouble to organise an official meeting,” Hux smirked.

 

“He’s your brother,” Kylo objected foolishly.

 

“And Han Solo was your father.”

 

Kylo did not flinch.

 

“What had the General done to deserve any sympathy from you?”

 

“Nothing,” muttered Kylo.

 

“Nothing. Exactly,” crowed Hux. “Now schedule the meeting.”

 

Kylo did as he was told.

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re three minutes late,” he said, copying other Hux.

 

 “I’m here now. What do you actually want?” Hux’s tone was pure ice.

 

Of course, other Hux was feeding him lines designed to most anger his counterpart. Kylo wondered again whether this did have a point or whether this was just a pawn in this petty squabble.

 

“Right, now that’s over with. Here’s the important part,” said other Hux. “You need to tell him that you’ve been giving more thought to clones.”

 

Kylo had mentioned clones around Hux before, testing the waters. He’d gotten nothing from the General, nothing but the usual irritation. There was nothing that suggested he knew. Nothing at all. But other Hux bringing it up now…

 

“Just say it,” other Hux insisted.

 

“I’ve been giving much more thought to clones,” he said. There. He hoped Hux was happy. Either of them, really. The both of them just liked to play god with him, to save him, to push him away. Neither let him be. He was sick and tired of it. Sick of the both of them and their identical faces.

 

 “There are several problems with cloning that I have already extensively outlined to you, but let’s run through them again: we do not have the budget to pay for the creation of clones, an army of identical men leads to our entire army have identical weaknesses, not to mention the fact that you don’t even have a suitable candidate in mind. Now if you would stop wasting my time, I have work to do to fix the mess we’re in because you couldn’t even defeat one untrained scavenger,” Hux droned. He sounded just like his father. It was infuriating. 

 

And that was it. The chance, the opportunity to make the killing blow. His training, his frustration, everything combined to propel those ill-thought-out words from his lips. “Well don’t worry; we won’t be using _your_ DNA. We’ve all already seen what a failure that was.”

 

He regretted it the moment he had. The flicker of emotions over Hux’s face was not as satisfying as he had hoped it would be. In fact, he felt curiously sick.

 

“You’ve done it now,” other Hux said and his obvious glee was like salt in a wound. He stood next to his brother and let the contrast speak for itself. They were not so identical now. Not identical at all.

 

Kylo scrambled to take it back, to cover. But he couldn’t. Not now. Hux was too clever and too paranoid to let it go.

 

Incorporeal Hux howled with laughter. “You’re only making it worse.”

 

Kylo had to admit he was right. It was what he did best after all. The dim thought that ghost Hux had wanted this all along floated through his mind but what could he even do if that were true? He had spoken in haste, he had trusted, and now he would pay. So, he made a run for it, ignoring the voices of both Huxes telling him to come back. One mocking, one desperate.

 

He couldn’t take either.

 

* * *

 

 

He barrelled back to his own quarters and tried to reason with himself. The General wasn’t one for overwrought emotions. He would probably just be pissed at Kylo for a few days, find a way to embarrass him in front of the Supreme Leader, then it would be over. Just a part of their everyday routine.

 

None of it convinced the pit in his stomach to let up. It had kept him awake through the night so he’d gone down to the officer’s gym. The doors had opened and there was Hux, emotions rattling off him in waves.

 

No, it wouldn’t go back to the way it was before. No, Hux wouldn’t be fine. He’d made an irreversible mistake.

 

He fled again before Hux could see him.

 

_Weak._

 

* * *

 

 

He started to hear the whisper of Hux’s thoughts the next day. Hux was on the other side of the ship but they were there in his head, as if he were speaking them into his ear. He had to turn several times to check that the ghostly Hux weren’t playing some kind of joke on him.

 

But the thoughts only got louder and louder until they were nothing but a scream. Kylo clutched his head. He tried to meditate, to block them out. Nothing. Hux was, intentionally or not, forcing him to confront him.

 

Kylo flung himself out of his chair and marched on to Hux’s quarters. He would prove who the weak one. He would prove it and he would rid himself of these thoughts. The General had started the war between them. It wasn’t Kylo’s fault he had lost.

 

* * *

 

 

If he had taken care of the General whilst he was drunk it was only because he owed him for saving him from Starkiller. There was no weakness in honour.

 

* * *

 

 

Hux’s thoughts were a quieter the next few days, like someone had thrown a damp rag over them to muffle the sound, but they were never gone. The screaming had died down but Kylo wasn’t sure he liked what had replaced it.

 

He kept himself away.

 

“You’ve broken him. Congratulations,” said the other Hux.

 

Kylo could barely stand to see his face, let alone hear his voice.

 

“Don’t be weak, Ben. He deserved it.”

 

“You wanted this to happen.” It wasn’t a question. “What did he do to you? You were dead before he was even born!”

 

“I’ve told you. He hates you. I stuck around here, on this mortal plane, to protect _you_.”

 

Kylo went cold with sudden intuition. “No. I don’t think so. I think you hate him because he replaced you. I think you used me.”

 

“You wanted me to use you. You wanted someone to tell you what to do, how to make the kill. You were sitting on the weapon and you didn’t even consider using it. You needed me to cure your weakness, just like I did with Solo,” snarled Hux. “Or did you think he would be kind to you because he pulled you out of the snow?”

 

“That’s not what I thought! We work towards the same goals – we have to work together. The fleet is weaker without him to lead!” Kylo blurted, desperately. He’d been practicing the same justifications to himself so they rolled easily off the tongue.

 

“He pulled you out because he was following Snoke’s orders. He’s as weak as you, weaker even. He had the chance to kill you or at least to let you die and he failed. He’s not fit to lead this fleet! And at this rate, neither are you!”

 

Kylo had never seen him look so angry. His voice was so piercing that objects in the room seemed to quake. The temperature rose several degrees. The room shook now in earnest.

 

“Hux!” Kylo shouted. Hux had never done this before, never been anything other than calm and in control.

 

There was a slight crack as a bottle splintered. Then he was done and the room settled.

 

Kylo’s breath was heavy. What was that? Had this Hux had powers all along? The scholarship on Force Ghosts was extremely scant and not particularly reliable. If he had always been able to do this then why hadn’t he?

 

The question wasn’t getting answered that night, so shaken, Kylo sank into bed. He would sleep and leave these problems behind for a time. The Finalizer, for all its size, felt claustrophobic – saturated in Hux, in both Huxes. He wished desperately that Snoke would send him away somewhere, somewhere far away. At least he’d be able to get away from the General, if not other Hux. But he couldn’t. So sleep, dreams, were the best he could do. He closed his eyes. He could still see Hux’s face beneath his eyelids.

 

This was going to take a while.  

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo was woken from sleep by throbbing panic.

 

It was Hux.

 

Kylo lay on his side and ignored it. There was nothing he could do even if he wanted to. There was no way to fix this. That wasn’t what he did.

 

He just had to complete his training. Then he could leave this all behind. There was no reason for him to go running to the General anyway.

 

* * *

 

 

Phasma handed it to him when she told him about Hux’s strange behaviour in front of the stormtroopers. She gave him the excuse he needed to go to Hux’s quarters. He found himself rushing there, even if it were pointless. He had to go.

 

* * *

 

  Art by [sadaf-wadj](http://sadaf-wadj.tumblr.com/), who was awesome enough to make me two pieces :)

 


	10. Chapter 10

“Phasma told me about your little meltdown. She seemed to think it was a ploy to undermine her training but that’s not it, is it? You’re well past the point of strategy. You’re spiralling, General.” They were the first words off his lips as he entered the room. Not the best considered but the fury was burning in his veins. He had somehow foolishly expected to see Hux and be glad, perhaps even regretful, if he were honest with himself but this…This was not the man who had barged into his life and made it a misery. This was not the man he _loved_.

 

“Get out.” Hux’s posture was bent over, head practically in his drink.

 

“Are you drunk?” His voice sounded shocked to his own ears.  He was shocked. Not by Hux’s habit, not much anyway, not after knowing his father.

 

He had somehow managed to shock himself. The other Hux had been like a brother, at least for a time, but there’d never been anything less than pure hatred between him and the General. Love was out of the question but it rang oddly true, here, now.

 

“Not enough,” Hux murmured, avoiding his eye completely. “It’s over. You’ve won. Take a picture if you want something to look at whilst you wank but leave me in peace.”

 

He practically choked behind his mask. Did Hux _know_? How could he know when he had only just worked it out himself? He felt his face burn. He reached out to grab Hux – whether out of anger, or out of something else, he didn’t know anymore. “You are drunk! Pull yourself together.”

 

“Get off me! Just get off me.” Hux smashed a glass to the floor. That wasn’t like him.

 

It was the last warning sign he needed. “I’m taking you to the medbay.”

 

“No! I don’t-”

 

Then it happened. The datapad had fallen. It wasn’t much in of itself but it was like te start of an avalanche. Items flew around the room and amongst the chaos, Kylo found the solution in a final revelation.

 

Hux was Force Sensitive. Of course. It all clicked into place. The other Hux, the strange incident when he had shaken the room, everything. It was all connected. And like that, the path ahead was clear. Train Hux. Give him this new way. Rebuild him and stronger than before.

 

This way they might finally be able to make peace with each other. All for the sake of the Order.

 

Whatever feelings he might have had nothing to do with it.

 

* * *

 

 

Any illusions he had had about them being able to come to an equitable partnership were soon shattered. Hux was just so damned stubborn! He insisted on fighting Kylo at every step, questioning even the most basic of instruction as to how the Force worked. No wonder it hadn’t come out before, he was logically minded to the point of idiocy. He wouldn’t let himself believe in the Force enough to use it – Kylo wondered whether he was going to have to make Hux angry to get anything out of him again. Then – another idea came to mind. A better idea, more productive.

 

“It’s an old exercise, from when I was first learning the ways of the Force. I haven’t thought of it for years.” He moved towards Hux and put his hand on Hux’s shoulder, only realising afterwards that this was the first time he’d had any physical contact with Hux since he had realised about well…But this was nothing, just an exercise, nothing erotic about unbendable arm. He just hoped he wasn’t blushing.

 

Any awkwardness melted under the concentration as how best to explain the exercise. He’d never actually had to teach anyone before. It was a lot harder than it seemed. He could feel frustration spike through Hux as he tried in vain to bend Kylo’s arm – that was good, though he wouldn’t say so aloud. Once he learned to let go, to use his anger, he would be a powerful ally indeed.

 

They switched places.

 

The General was still pushing against it, the whole idea of it, but he actually mastered it pretty quickly. He could feel the moment it had clicked for Hux and Kylo was all caught up in it, caught up in the strange joy of teaching someone something and having them actually learn. Hux had such potential. Together they could be unstoppable

 

“Ren, you’re…you’re holding my hand,” Hux said, disrupting Kylo’s flow of thoughts entirely.

 

Kylo looked down and was startled to find that, yes, Hux was telling the truth. It was impossible to read his tone – embarrassment? Disgust? It didn’t sound particularly encouraging either way. Not that Kylo was looking for that kind of encouragement. He knew Hux too well to expect that kind of emotion from him. That Hux was tolerating his presence long enough to actually learn the ways of the Force was a miracle in of itself.

 

He dropped the hand. Hopefully, it played like an accident. He’d done so much to wound Hux, he still hated to think what he’d do with this information.

 

* * *

 

 

The next few days were spent cleaning up Hux’s room, the two of them working together in near perfect harmony. Sure, there was bickering, petty arguments, but they were achieving it. Hux was letting himself use the Force and it was perfect.

 

Of course, the moment Hux’s room was back in order he wanted to get rid of Kylo. Or at least he said he did. Kylo might have been projecting but he could have sworn that Hux sounded less certain about it than he might have done before. Either way, he couldn’t stop now. A half-trained Hux was dangerous to the Order and everyone around him.

 

It was encouraging that Hux didn’t seem too dissatisfied when he said that he had much more to teach him.

 

* * *

 

 

He found himself regretting it himself when it came time to actually try and teach Hux meditation. He should have known that he’d hate it, that he’d hate just sitting there, not doing anything. Hux had always been the type to bury himself under his work. The stormtroopers were barely allowed a moments’ rest – perhaps Hux had been raised the same way.

 

Whatever the source of the habit, it was a problem. He was sat across from Hux and all he could hear was how wrong the breathing was, how anxious, how strained. It was enough to break Kylo out of his own state of concentration.

 

He was going to have to rectify this somehow.

 

He got up and walked over to Hux, positioning himself behind him. Tentatively, he touched Hux’s back, manoeuvring his hands into place so that he could assess this breathing. They were so close now. It wasn’t just the physical proximity but the start of a bond through the Force. Kylo could feel it forming slowly, bridging the two of them together. Perhaps that had been why they had fought because they had always meant to be together and the state of being apart was so unbearable each blamed the other for the pain of it.

 

Kylo shook his head. No. Wishful thinking again. He had pledged himself to the dark. He had no space for such idle thoughts. It was merely a case of unchecked power rubbing up against his own, not channelled in the proper direction.

 

Hux managed it, was able to find that space, but the elation was short-lived. He’d just said one thing and that was it, Hux was fighting him again, even now.

 

He had almost thought they were past it. He should have known. It was just the same story, again and again. There were words spilling off his own lips now, cruel word, ill-advised words. The same kind of words that had landed him in this mess but he couldn’t stop. The fury fuelled him, frustration finding voice. Hux would send him away now and they would begin this again, this eternal dance.

 

He was stuck, no matter what he did.

 

Then Hux surprised him. He grabbed Kylo hard and kissed him. Kylo hadn’t allowed himself to dream about this moment, had always cut off the thought before it was allowed time to form in his mind, but still this felt inevitable. It was like he had been holding his breath without even knowing it, waiting for the pieces to slide perfectly into place.

 

* * *

 

 

He woke up the next morning in Hux’s bed to the sound of an alarm almost as irritating as Hux could be. Not that he felt irritation now. He hadn’t quite meant to sleep here. No, that was a lie. He had. He had considered the possibility of slinking back to his cold, empty quarters, and he had allowed sleep to take him instead. It had given him an excuse to stay and Hux hadn’t kicked him out.

 

He could feel the warmth of Hux’s emotions through the Force. The link was stronger now, tangible. He could also feel his uncertainty, a voice in the back of his mind reprimanding for his foolish actions. It sounded a lot like the late Commandant Brendol Hux. There was a distinct hint of smugness too in Hux, pleasure at conquering his nature. Kylo wondered if that was it, really, if this had all just been a way for Hux to get back at his father. Hux didn’t seem to think so and Kylo didn’t want to think so either. He hadn’t kicked Kylo out last night. That must have meant something.

 

The ensuing conversation was incredibly stilted. It was exactly the way he would have imagined that Hux would talk about sex but he hadn’t imagined how incredibly endearing he’d end up finding it despite himself. They’d managed to come to an agreement somehow: this would continue. Kylo had rather hoped they could continue it right then but Hux had questions.

 

He managed to answer most of them easily enough, not that he really felt like talking. It would have been so easy to just lie there together in silence, to forget about everything else, to just be there. But Hux never did have an interest in making anything easy.

 

Then he said it: “You still haven’t told me how you knew about me.”

 

It was like the death knell. Kylo had been dreading this question for weeks. How could he possibly explain without jeopardising all they had fought to build together? How could he convince Hux that the other meant nothing to him now? A sigh escaped his lips.

 

“Why don’t you just tell him?” other Hux asked and Kylo felt nothing but despair at his appearance, here, now. “Tell him about me and see how he takes it. He was already a poor replacement for his father. Might as well double down and tell him he’s a poor replacement for me.”

 

Kylo opened and shut his mouth in protest. He couldn’t. Not here. Not with Hux, his General, right next to him. Hux might not be completely sure of himself but Kylo was. This was the Hux he wanted. This was the Hux he loved.

 

He stayed silent and simmered.

 

“Why don’t _you_ just tell me?” said Hux. “It seems a lot more efficient than making him do it.”

 

Kylo gaped.

 


	11. Chapter 11

“Why don’t _you_ just tell me?” said Hux. “It seems a lot more efficient than making him do it.”

 

Ren turned to look at him but Hux did not meet his eye. He did not have to look at him to know that his mouth was hanging slightly open or that his eyes were wide in shock. He could feel it all filtering down the connection. He ignored it and focused his attention on his double in the room.

 

“I wish I could say that I knew of your existence from the start but that would be untrue. I started to suspect something of this nature. I could sense something in Ren’s mind and now that I do see you, a lot of things have fallen into place.”

 

“You were never able to see me before,” the other Hux tested, suspiciously. “Why can you see me now?”

 

“Haven’t you been watching? I imagine it’s because of Ren’s training with the Force that I am able to see you now, not that seeing you gives me any benefit I couldn’t take from looking in a mirror,” he said, casually.

 

Ren made a sound like he had just worked something out.

 

“Pity he never told you about me,” spat out this other Hux.

 

Hux looked back at him coolly. “It is a pity. He was worried about how I would take it, I think.”

 

“He’s a selfish boy. He wanted to keep the both of us to himself, wanted to use your body whilst his mind was with me.” The expression on the double’s face was some mix of smug and pseudo-concern and anger. Hux only hoped his own face wasn’t as expressive. “I’ve been with him since he was a child, guiding him. It was by my hand I brought him here, to this ship, to this side. I suppose you won’t thank me for that.”

 

“That’s not true!” Ren burst out. “Hux, you know that’s not true. I wasn’t thinking about him!”

 

“Quiet, Ren. No, I have no intention of thanking you.” He kept his tone neutral as possible; he rather wished he wasn’t having this conversation in such a state of undress but he supposed there wasn’t anything about his anatomy that the other Hux hadn’t already seen before. “And I’m afraid this strategy isn’t going to work.”

 

There was a look of innocent puzzlement on the other’s face. “Strategy?”

 

“Unlike yourself, Kylo Ren is not a particularly skilled liar under most circumstances. He barely managed to keep your existence under wraps by accidently presenting himself as socially maladapted and a little bit dim,” he stated, drily. “He doesn’t have it in me to deceive me now I can feel what he is feeling.”

 

Other Hux curled his lip. “He’ll come running back to me, sooner or later. He’ll tire of you and leave you. He’ll find you nothing but the disappointing copy that you are.”

 

“I won’t!” Ren objected, unable to keep to the rules.

 

“I’m the General Hux of the First Order,” said Hux, addressing other Hux directly. “You, I’m afraid, are no-one. I was always going to win. I suggest you take your defeat with as much dignity as you can manage and go crawling back to wherever you came from.”

 

“You forget I’ve seen you. I know everything, every weakness, every time you took a dive into a bottle just like dear old dad,” hissed other Hux.

 

“And that’s all you can do: watch. It must kill you to know that you could never have any of this. That you can never do more than lurk in the shadows and try to play Kylo like he’s your puppet.” A vicious smile came over his face. “But he doesn’t need you now.”

 

“I don’t need you now,” said Ren, voice sombre. “He’s right. So just go.”

 

“Fine. You keep him then. Good luck – I’ve been dealing with his pathetic neediness for years. If you want to take that burden off my hands, be my guest. I’m sure the two of you will be so happy together.”

 

With those bitter words, he was gone.

 

There was silence for a moment, taking in what had just happened. There was a surge in his veins, the familiar thrill of a battle fought and won. He let out a breath he seemed to have been holding forever. He’d been able to do nothing against their father. He’d been dead in his grave when all this had come to light. But this had been a good substitute.

 

He felt stronger than he had in months.

 

“You’re still in trouble,” he said, turning to Ren. “You should have trusted that I would find out. I’m far more intelligent than the past few months might have made it seem.”

 

“I know,” said Ren, sounding remorseful.

 

“If you expected me to crack under the revelation of his existence then you clearly don’t know me very well. I don’t make the same mistakes twice.”

 

“So this is over then?” Ren bowed his head in resigned dejection.

 

“You, however, are still interminably stupid even without his influence. I said _mistakes._ ” He eyed Ren carefully. “In your analysis of the situation, was what happened between us a mistake? I was under the distinct impression that you were convinced otherwise.”

 

“No, I just never thought…I thought you’d fight against this more. That you’d disappear,” Ren’s voice had dried up into a hoarse whisper. “I know what you said to him but I thought-”

 

“It seems I can’t get rid of you, so I might as well just accept it. Besides, the two of us have bigger problems now.”

 

Ren furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

 

“Don’t you think it’s unusual that the other Hux was powerful enough as a child to manifest as a Force ghost and seemingly age and develop through the years, meaning he was the practically the perfect age to become your companion? He said he died in infancy. I don’t know many infants who are able to master the Force.” Hux had done his research; the whole business of ghostly manifestation was extremely vague but the texts all agreed, it took immense spiritual and mental training to be able to achieve it. He felt certain that if he, as an adult, was just discovering his powers now, there was no way this other Hux could have done this alone before he had even turned one.

 

“You think he had help?” Ren intuited.

 

“You’re powerful,” Hux said, bluntly. In the past, he never would have admitted it to Ren’s face but they were past that now. “You have gifts that Snoke covets. I doubt he would leave your fate to chance. He was the perfect lure.”

 

There was a far off look in Ren’s eyes, like he was combing through his memories for anything that might support or repudiate the claim. His mouth was downturned as realisation slowly spread over his features, the understanding at just how much of his life had been a lie – or at the very least, a manipulation.

 

Hux knew all too intimately what that felt like. This was the perfect revenge, if only he actually wanted it.

 

“He was working for Snoke all along,” Ren said, seemingly because he just needed to hear the words all along.

 

“He’s a product of his conditioning,” said Hux. _Just like us._ “But he’s a problem for us now. Either he’s going to go tattling to Snoke or Snoke is going to realise on his own that he’s lost his hold. Someone is going to have to pay, one way or the other. I’d rather it wasn’t me or you.”

 

There was sudden beeping sound. Incoming message. Almost like magic.

 

Kylo picked it up. “Snoke requests an audience. With both of us, later this evening.”

 

“Funny that,” said Hux. “Alright then. I should get to my shift but I guess I’ll see you later.”

 

“You’re awfully calm.” Ren’s hand was shaking. “If this is about what you think it is, we’re done for. There’s nothing either of us can do against him – his command of the Force is far greater than that of either one of us.”

 

“You over-rely on the Force. I don’t think this will be decided that way.” He got out of bed and started the process of getting dressed. “I don’t have time to convince you now but just trust me.”

 

Ren nodded but looked uncertain.

 

* * *

 

 

The day passed slowly. Hux turned it all over in his mind as he worked, thinking over the plan. He tried not to dig his fingers into his palm as he surveyed the Finalizer’s workers. He had given Ren the impression of confidence – he couldn’t let him see weakness. He couldn’t let him down. He wouldn’t let himself down.

 

* * *

 

 

Hux was calm by the time they came to stand in front of Snoke. Maybe it was Ren’s breathing exercises. He had found himself performing them throughout the day, despite his initial misgivings. Or maybe adrenaline had just kicked in. Either way, he was ready to settle this. He was ready to win.

 

“There’s no point in pretence,” Hux said, stepping forward slightly. “I know why we are here.”

 

“General?” Snoke didn’t sound enraged exactly but there was an edge to his voice that suggested that he didn’t appreciate the insolence one bit.

 

Hux could feel Ren’s fear and he wished he could soothe it, but for now, he needed to focus.

 

“I’m here to put my case to you,” Hux clarified, gesturing with his arms as he spoke. “It has come to my attention that you have two Huxes in your employ and it has become clear enough to me that you can only keep the one. I move that it is I, the superior Hux, that should remain as part of this organisation.”

 

“I’ve been Snoke’s agent since before you could fire a blaster. What makes you think he would possibly pick you?”

 

“Ah, there you are,” he said, turning to look at the figure emerging from the shadows. “ _So_ glad you could join us. Well, that’s a good question: I shall answer it now. You were given one simple job: to whisper in Ren’s ear and bring him over to this side and at first you succeeded. But the situation has changed. In case it isn’t already clear, Kylo Ren has chosen to favour me. I am his anchor to this Order.”

 

“Is that true, apprentice?” Snoke interjected.

 

“Yes, master. I find his presence unnecessary now, distracting from my true path. I can stand without him trying to influence me.”

 

The hologram of Snoke’s face was unreadable. “Continue, General.”

 

“I designed and created Starkiller Base – the most powerful weapon the galaxy has ever seen. I oversee the training and command of legions of stormtroopers. I have multiple roles within this organisation. You, my double, had one thing to do, the only thing you could do, and you failed. The fact is, you may have been in his employ longer but you have outlived – I’m not entirely sure that word applies to you but it will have to do – your usefulness. Ren and I are in complete agreement about this”

 

Snoke appeared to be mulling this over.

 

“Don’t listen to him!” hissed other Hux. “He is weak and soft. Flesh. He thinks he can sneak around you, to learn the ways of the Force. He wishes to overthrow you and he would use your own apprentice to do it. My loyalty is completely assured.”

 

“He’s clearly the one losing control,” Hux said, levelly. He kept his mind neutral, trying to use everything Ren had taught him, on top of his own natural skills as an orator. “I have indeed been learning the ways of the Force so as to better serve the needs of the Order.”

 

“It’s true!” Ren offered. “Teaching Hux is helping me find control and I’m helping him hone his instincts. It’s beneficial to all of us.”

 

Snoke turned to look at the other Hux, looking almost bored. “You were indeed given one task. You were to guide Ren and keep your true nature hidden. You failed. I have no more use for you or your excuses.”

 

“No, wait,” the other Hux blurted but Snoke had already waved his hand. There was an awful sound, a sort of strangled cry, as the other Hux began to disintegrate before their eyes, disappearing into thin air.

 

“Kylo, please…” he managed and then he was gone, like he had never been there.

 

It all happened so quickly.

 

“Let that be a lesson to those who might cross me,” pronounced Snoke. “The two of you are dismissed.”

 

They walked out of the chamber in horrified silence. Not a word was spoken between the two of them as they walked the hallways and found themselves, by unspoken agreement, back in Hux’s quarters.

 

Hux stood and resisted the urge to pace, digging his fingers into his palm. This had been necessary. There was no doubt about that. But he had watched the destruction of someone who had shared his face. It was bound to have an effect one way or another.

 

Stars, the way he’d said Ren’s name…

 

“He’s not dead,” said Ren, his voice straining. “You can’t destroy the energy of a soul. The Force is…”

 

“He’s banished then,” said Hux.

 

“I suppose.”

 

Hux surveyed Ren and took in his subdued demeanour, the uncertainty in his wide eyes. “I can’t tell if you’re worried that he’ll come back or if you’re worried he _won’t_ come back.”

 

“It’s weakness but I felt- I felt bad for him in the end,” he confessed.

 

Hux gave an exhausted smile. “I did too, in my way. Call it genetic predisposition. He was our enemy and we did what we could to destroy him – that’s strength - but there’s no harm in pitying the enemy in the luxury of victory.”

 

Ren managed a smile of his own. “You almost have me convinced.”

 

“I convinced Snoke and we survived this for now – that’s the main thing,” said Hux. “I suspect the problem of Snoke has only been temporarily been solved but we have time now to plan and the privacy in which to discuss it. You’re not being watched anymore, not by him.”

 

Ren only nodded slightly, as though he were afraid that he was still being spied upon. “I suppose.”

 

“But?” Hux prompted. “Just say what’s on your mind.”

 

“It’s- it’s hard to be alone. I always felt like there was someone there with me. I-”

 

“You’re not alone,” said Hux, flatly. It was the only way he could manage it. Offering emotional comfort, even when genuinely meant, was about as natural as walking on his hands for him.

 

Ren tentatively took his hand and, suddenly inspired, Hux closed his eyes and focused, trying to send his emotions on down the link. He imagined them flowing from within him, through his body, and wrapping around Ren. He could feel warmth in his fingertips but he wasn’t sure if that was a sign.

 

“Thank you,” said Ren, after a minute. “Your technique has really come along, you know.”

 

“I’m as shocked as you are given the shoddy instructor I’ve been forced to study under,” sniffed Hux. “But I expect I’ll soon surpass him in the ways of the Force and maybe I’ll allow him to learn something from me.”

 

Ren smirked, allowing himself a half-hearted joke. “Sorry but all I heard was something about you being under me.”

 

“Maybe if your hair didn’t cover your ears you might be able to hear better,” commented Hux, in mock innocence. He knew that Ren’s hair was something of a touchy subject.

 

Ren suppressed a smile, then seemed to genuinely sober. “What are we going to do about Snoke? He sent other Hux away because he believed you were more useful to him…”

 

“I’ll make sure I’m useful for as long as I have to. Don’t worry about that,” said Hux.

 

“It’s not just that. The Force is awake in you now. We don’t abide by the Sith Rule of Two but he wouldn’t hesitate to turn us against each other if he thought it advantageous. He might want to train you himself – he might try to…” Ren closed his eyes, clearly recalling his own training. “He doesn’t need the two of us.”

 

Hux squeezed Ren’s hand. “It’s not going to come to that. Tell me, would you be satisfied if he disposed of me and brought back the other Hux in my place, flesh and blood, and begging you for forgiveness? Or perhaps he found the DNA sample and cloned you another Hux, using growth acceleration to bring him up to the proper age.”

 

“No! Of course not! How can you even-”

 

Hux raised his other hand, to silence the outburst. “It is logical to say, therefore, that you consider me irreplaceable – correct?”

 

Ren screwed up his face in confusion, clearly wondering what the point of this was, perhaps worried that it was a test of some sort. Nevertheless, he nodded his head.

 

“The feeling is mutual of course,” he said it coldly, as though evaluating Ren’s worth from an objective standpoint, but he knew that Ren could feel warmth radiating through their bond. “It makes us strong. He can’t break us that way.”

 

That this is how they will defeat Snoke was not a thought he had to speak aloud.

 

Ren looked down.

 

A sudden wave of exhaustion washed over Hux but he knew that it wasn’t his, not all of it anyway. “You’re tired. We will speak of this no more tonight.” He started in the direction of his bed, pulling Ren along by the hand.

 

“You’re inviting me to sleep in your bed? To stay the night with you?” Ren tested.

 

Hux tried, and failed, not to snort. “You don’t usually need an invitation to my quarters; you usually just come crashing in whenever you feel like it. And you never asked to sleep in my bed last night, you just did. I have resigned myself to the inevitability of your intrusions.”

 

“If you wanted me to move in with you, all you had to do is ask.”

 

Hux felt a flush on his neck. “I see I still have to worry about your hearing. This is for _your_ benefit, you understand. So you don’t feel all lonely.”

 

He expected Ren to pull away, to throw a fit, but he didn’t. In fact, the cocky grin on his face only widened. “I never knew you cared.”

 

“Let’s just get to bed before you fall over from exhaustion,” Hux muttered. He always knew that Ren would be the death of him but he never knew it would happen quite like this.

 

* * *

 

 

Hux woke up to his alarm, setting off at the usual time, but didn’t immediately roll out of bed as usual. He couldn’t. Ren had his arm wrapped firmly around his waist and was leaning heavily on him, the warm weight pinning Hux in place. It was not unpleasant, he had to admit, but it was certainly inconvenient.

 

“Move you great lump,” he said, nudging at Ren’s firm chest with his elbow. “I have to get to the bridge.”

 

Kylo stirred next to him and opened one eye, making mumbling sounds beneath his breath. “What?”

 

The sight of Kylo slowly waking was enough to make Hux impatient. “It’s time for me to get up, so if you’d be so kind as to let go of me.”

 

Ren did not let go. He pulled Hux in closer, planting a sloppy kiss on his lips. “Morning.”

 

Hux hoped Ren couldn’t feel his lips curve into a traitorous smile. He pulled away. “Yes, morning.” He let his eyes run over Ren’s face laid bare before him, taking in the beautiful jumble of features that made him so unique. Ren’s own gaze was intense, looking back at Hux even as Hux looked at him. It was not menacing, not angry, but intense nonetheless. All his attention was trained on Hux. It made Hux want to look away in a way that he never had when Ren had actively tried to intimidate him. Ren’s face was framed by his dark hair, falling everywhere in messy waves. Hux should have hated it, should have despised the disorder of it, but he didn’t.

 

“That’s the difference between you and your father,” Ren said, in tones that implied he was carrying on a conversation, rather than just making comments out of nowhere. “Your father never loved anyone.”

 

Hux sputtered. “You…you…idiot!” Hux settled on the word, in lieu of a better insult. “What kind of manners were you raised with that you think it’s okay to make a confession of love to yourself on my behalf?”

 

Ren looked at him with the greatest sincerity possible. “It’s alright, though, isn’t it? I mean, it’s obvious that I…”

 

A flicker of irritation rose up in Hux. “Are you waiting for me to tell you your feelings? Is this how it works now?” Hux waited in vain for Ren to make a reply but when it was clear none was coming, he continued. “Come on then. Tell me yourself.”

 

Ren took a deep breath, like he was about to summon the will to move some great object with the Force. “Iloveyou,” he blurted out, as if it were one word. Emotions flashed over that wonderfully expressive face of his – worry and relief in equal measures. “I think I have for a long time.”

 

Ren’s confession of love had rather knocked the outrage out of him and now he felt exposed. Worse still, this wasn’t the worst feeling either. “Well then,” was all he could manage to say.

 

If Ren had been about to say something, he was interrupted by the ping of a datapad. ‘ _Ah, saved_ ,’ thought Hux, ignoring the part of him that was actually mournful to have this moment interrupted. “Let go of me, I need to check that,” he said, to Kylo.

 

This time, Kylo actually did let go, still watching him all the while.

 

Hux grabbed the datapad and read through the message. He dropped it abruptly and bolted out of bed. “I’m late!”

 

“You forgot about the alarm,” Ren teased. “You actually forgot for a while.”

 

“This is entirely your fault!” grumbled Hux, pulling on his uniform trousers all in a rush. “You distracted me.”

 

“You deserve a bit of distraction in your life,” Ren said, indulgently.

 

“Don’t _you_ have anywhere to be?” Ren lying there, all relaxed, was just unbearable when he had to scramble around try to get to work on time.

 

“Not presently. I think I’ll stay here and meditate until you come back for your lunch.”

 

Hux groaned and hurriedly fastened his shirt. “Fine. Just don’t break anything.” And with that, he was out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

“Your caf’s a bit cold, sir,” Mitaka ventured, when Hux entered the bridge. “I want to offer my deepest apologies.”

 

Hux waved off the apology and took the cup, sipping the lukewarm liquid. “That’s quite alright Lieutenant, I am later than usual. I had urgent business to attend to.”

 

Mitaka nodded and Hux got right down to the business of running the ship to make up for his lack of punctuality. The morning passed quickly and Hux soon found it time for lunch. He headed down to the cafeteria as usual.

 

If anyone wondered why there was a hint of a smile on Hux’s face or why he requested two meals, they didn’t dare to ask.

 

Hux could feel Ren before he even walked through the door to see him there, standing and waiting for him.

 

“Welcome home,” said Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for making it to the end of the fic! It feels like I've been working on it forever, so it's nice to finally reveal it :) Please leave a comment to let me know what you thought - any feedback really is much appreciated!


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